Wednesday, December 29, 2004


Relationships are bonds that tie us to people. Whether you like it or not, we need them. As a matter of fact, as soon as we were born, we already have them. Our relationship with our parents and siblings. As we grow, we seek to maintain good relationships with our schoolmates, officemates, friends and of course, with a loved one.

I thought of how I handled my relationships with different people in my life. That of those who are dearly close to me and who are not at all directly related to my existence in this world. Modesty aside, I have kept many of them intact. With my family, friends, officemates, even with guards and janitors. In terms of how good I am when it comes to keeping good relationships, I am even better when ditching insincere relationships. I guess I have a good nose for shams. And relationships with such are definitely not for me.

I must say though, that if there was one category that would keep me away from that ‘Relationship Guru’ title, it’s the relationship with a significant other. I always fail in that department! Hehe! It’s always a would be but not quite. A friend even labeled me as a star-crossed lover! And another gave me Joshua Harris’ books called “I kissed Dating Good-bye” and "Boy Meets Girl". hmmm..

On a lighter note...

Yesterday, my day ended with the season ender of Sex and the City. And I’d like to end this blog by quoting what Carrie said in the last part:

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the YOU you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

Tuesday, December 28, 2004


There was a time when I was with a friend waiting for the next MRT train. The train arrived and it was jampacked. We weren’t able to get in. and I was not surprised. While waiting for the train, out of the blue, I told my friend, “ You know what?! I am really not a train person.” She looked at me in response to one of my usual non-sense thoughts.

Truly, madly and deeply. I hate the LRT. I hate the MRT. From the MRT-1 to MRT-i-don’t-know-and-who-gives-a-damn. And I don’t care how many electric trains are up for construction. I will hate them just the same.

Take the MRT along Edsa as an example. It has one of a kind elevators. Oh yeah. So one of a kind, they are the only elevators in the whole of Metro Manila that make me dizzy. Very poor ventilation. Doors that can cut a person’s limb off, and let the victim worry of tetanus afterwards. Sudden rise, drops and stops. You might need to wear helmets, elbow and knee pads to get out of them bruise-free.

Ok. Well then. Take the escalator, right? But not all stations have escalators. So take the stairs right? Do you have a choice? I don’t think so. Taking the stairs is actually a good exercise. Not always though. Are you familiar with the staircase in Shaw Boulevard terminal. Shangri-La side? Now that is not a good exercise for the oldies and the obese. Not even for healthy yuppies who are running late for work. Going up that staircase is not easy under time-pressure and mandurukot-pressure. And you don’t wanna be all sweaty even before entering your office right?

Then you have to wait for averagely two trains before you can hop in one. Only to realize that the airconditioning in the cart you got in doesn’t work. And it’s super jampacked. It’s so jampacked you can smell what the person in front of you ate during his last meal. It’s so jampacked you can smell who weren’t able to dry their blouse/polo under the sun. It’s so jampacked you can see guys who have a pimple on their scalps on the nape area. It’s so jamapcked you can feel each other’s body. And body parts. Private body parts. Eeeoow. In fairness to the LRT, they have a female section. Why don’t they do that in the MRT?

Oh well.
So unless it’s really, really, really needed, I would rather take the bus or cab, thank you. I would gladly be stuck in traffic. But very much comfortable in my seat.

But that day, due to unavoidable circumstances, I had to take the train. The much awaited train arrives and my friend tells me that we get in it. The door slides open. Then I do my before-getting-in-the-train ritual. Look. Breathe. Hope. Thank. And pray.

I look for a spot to squeeze myself in. I breathe deeply. I hope I don’t get in contact with a guy’s thingy. I thank God for blessing me with small breasts. And I pray that my next train ride will not be soon.

Thursday, December 23, 2004


December 23 na. akalain mo yun.

Naisip ko lang. diba bukod sa character si Ebenezer scrooge sa isang nobela, ang term na scrooged pwede mong gamiting adjective? Pag scrooged ka, walang ni isang kusing ng diwa ng pasko sa dugo mo. At hindi lang yun, ang tingin mo sa mga taong may Christmas spirit, over-acting.

Minsan naiisip ko ako. Ako ba? Scrooged ata ako. Hindi naman ako galit sa pasko at sa nire-represent nito. Nagsimula ako at nagtapos sa catholic schools. Ako mismo merong Christmas list at wish list. inisip ko din magsimbang gabi, although wala akong balak kumpletuhin. Pero other than that, wala lang.

pasko na.

and?! ...


Pero paiba-iba din. Minsan, panahon din ng pasko tapos nagkataong in love ako nun. Nakakatawa. Tinext ko ba naman yun mga kaibigan ko nun ng . . .

“Ngayon ko lang na-appreciate ang Christmas lights at mga parol. Ang gaganda nila.”

Duh. Nakakatawa lang talaga! Feel na feel ko ang pasko nun. Galante ako nun sa mga nangangaroling. Mabait ako nun sa mga kaibigan ko. bukas loob akong nagbibigay ng pamasko sa mga claiming na inaanak ko na dun ko lang naman talaga nakita sa talambuhay ko. at nakangiti lang ako pag nagtetext.

Pero ngayong season na ‘to, hindi ganun. Parang normal na panahon lang para sa akin. hindi ako masaya pero at the same time, hindi rin naman ako malungkot. Hindi kaya ito ang resulta ng pagkaka-bato ko as buhay?

Hindi ako immorally scrooged, unintentionally scrooged lang.

meron ba nun? ewan ko. kumabaga sa queer eye for the straight guy.. ang mine-make over nila ay mga ‘unintentionally scary guys’. Sa ganung context ang pagiging ‘unintentionally scrooged‘ ko.

Pilit ko lang siguro binibigyan ng rationalization ang behavior ko. o in defense of myself na lang din siguro. Kase I’m not bitter about anyone or anything for that matter. Pero at the same time I am not elated with the christmas spirit.

So ano ako? Scrooged ba talaga ako?



Thursday, December 16, 2004


i came across these friendster profiles. which reminded me -- hindi krimen ang mag-tagalog. minsan kailangan nating magtagalog na lang to spare our dignity -- or whatever's left of it in this case.

sorry guys. i can't help it.

i'm evil. i know.

Monday, December 13, 2004


I don’t wanna think that my life is boring.

i have work to pre-occupy me with during day time. I have lots of friends to hang out with in the evening. Sometimes, I’m in a date. Otherwise, I’m out running or playing badminton or in my band practice. Should I choose to stay home, I am always thankful for primetime television. Sometimes I even exercise in front of the tv. If I don’t feel like watching, I can just lock myself up in my room and sound trip. If that bores me still, I can just grab my guitar or sit by the piano and play. I am not very fond of the telephone, to be honest. So if nothing keeps up with my interest, I can just open a book and read myself to sleep. On weekends, if I am not out of town, I’m out on a gig, partying in a makati bar or sleeping over a friend's place.

I don’t wanna think that my life is boring. . .

But it is. . .

Maybe I am just a boring person myself. . .

Wednesday, December 08, 2004


3 Amateur Musicians
3 Aspiring Musicians

… as the band wagon of acoustic wave continues, 3 promising musically inclined women take a dip on what seems to be the language of the yuppies, the teens and as well as the oldies. Having genres varying from rnb to alternative, to OPM classics and pop, 3AM is sure to capture the hearts of people from all walks of life.


3 Amazing Musicians to watch out for!

Friday, December 03, 2004


Starting today, whenever I feel lonely, I will just look at these pictures.

Mala- ‘where’s waldo?’ ang dating. I had to put our names beside our faces so Karen will be identified. Hehe. But instead of asking ‘where’s Karen?’, the ultimate question should be “WHERE’S JENG?!?”. Jeng magparamdam ka! Hihi.

There you go. Much better. Or is it? haha. I love these guys!

mga magnanakaw! don't mess with me

Last wednesday morning, my brother caught this robbery in the making. A guy was actually making a hole from our dirty kitchen wall. He must have started doing that a few days ago, and a couple of days more would have given him an entry to our house. Yesterday, he probably thought there was nobody home so he started working on it again. But my brother heard this thumping from the back of our house and there, was a man’s hand, in and out of the whole. He grabbed a steel pipe, hit the hand as hard as he could and wham! Then he said, “Balik ka ha?” Poor guy, my brother works out regularly and receiving that power, probably even thrice his regular blow since he was raging mad, must have been really traumatic for the guy. The guy retreated with only but a moan.

I was shocked upon hearing the story from my mom. But what I actually find disturbing is that a stranger tried to break-in our house. That alone made me feel uncomfortable. The fact that somebody tried to enter our house in that manner really bothers me. I didn’t even sleep well the past nights just because of that! Losing some stuff at home wasn’t really my main concern. To begin with, he’s just wasting his efforts because he won’t be getting much from our house.

I mean, hello?! What does he want? An old computer set? A defective vcd player? Eh component na plaka, gusto niya? We have a couple of defective 21-inch tvs too. I would have given those to him freely if he wanted them. I am begging my mom to get rid of those bulky stuff anyway. Kesa nagpapakahirap sha jan magbutas ng pader. Duh!

But then again, I was thinking.. what if he was able to successfully dig that hole without our knowing? Fine, he can get all those stuff that I mentioned. I don’t really care. but what if he enters my room?

Oh no. my room.

If he lays one finger on ...

my two-foot elmo
my cd collection
my vanity set
my jelly eye mask
my violet lamb-decorated pajamas
my shoes
my guitars
my paintings

--- I swear I will kill him.

But if he touches my family.. I’m a psycho.. I will make his life miserable. I promise that would be worse than being dead. Hah!

As for now, he should consider the blow up a fortunate event for him. He better think twice about showing up again.
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