Monday, September 12, 2005


i realized i've been drinking an average of 2 bottles of beer a week for the past month. this is terrible news for me. this has also led me to make a resolution.
i am bringing back my alcohol-free lifestyle. if you think that i can't, if you think that i am a drinker, then you do not know me at all. friends who have known me for at least 6 years can attest to that. i have spent the first 24 years of my life alcohol-free. how the hell could you think that i can't do that for the next 24? i was never a fan of alcohol. be it beer, tequila, lambanog, vodka, etc. (i don't even know what the others are actually called.) i just don't appreciate their taste. as plain and simple as that. ang joke pa sa akin noon, para mapainom ako, kelangan nakalagay sha sa planner ko -- a year in advance! hehe.
now, i just drink because i can't say 'no' most of the time. pag nahihiya pa ako sayo, mapapinom mo ako pag inalok mo ako. pero kung kada linggo ay may nagyayayang uminom -- this has got to stop! most people love the thought of drinking beer. but i am not most people. i used to hate it if people brand me as 'corny' or 'kj' just because i don't wanna drink. but now, honestly -- i do not care. i have decided to be alcohol-free again. bahala kayo sa buhay niyo. hehe.
i don't care if you drink gallons of it everyweek. just let me be if i don't wanna drink at all. if i survived taking juice or soda (ngayonn c2 na!! weehoo!!) during inuman sessions of the first 24 years of my life, i definitely still can for the next 24.
this serves as an announcement. if you won't allow me to drink anything without alcohol with you guys, i'd rather stay home. thank you.

Saturday, September 03, 2005


(i don't have much time to make a post.. so lemme just do some copy and "post" thing. hehe.. courtesy of my good friend richelle.)

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.

Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself......

and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender...

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

there you have it! isn't it nice to know that you're not the only onewho's being haunted by changes and the past? i'm saying this to you as well as to myself: move forward! do not be afraid. let the change take place and be thankful for it. don't cling to the past just because you're comfortable with it. let life take place.

embrace it.
love it.
find yourself and don't be afraid of who you are meant to be.

"Be not the kind to quit...It's not the load that breaks you down...it's the way you carry it."

(sapul. bow.)
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