POINTLESS POINTS

Joke Time Lang

2008-03-20T07:03:00.002+12:00

a friend of mine just passed the medical boards last month. i just remembered how hard she studied in med school until her internship and all that, tapos being in and out of her relationship that time pa. so i was just curious if her ex knew that she had already passed the boards. oo daw and nagcongrats na daw si ex. sabi ko itext niya:

"thanks! i wouldn't have made it with you."

joke time lang. ahahaha. peace out. :)

A Christmas Song by Adam Sandler

2007-12-25T05:57:00.000+12:00

Well,um it's the holiday season and Santas' been checkin' his list to see whos' been naughty or nice and I'm kinda feelin' guilty
So I wrote a song

So many presents, so little time
Santa won't be coming by my house this year
'Cause I tried to drown my sister and I pierced my ear
Oh mama made it perfectly clear
Santa don't like bad boys
Especially Jewish ones

Skanif-kanof and Lego blocks are what I desire
So, why'd I have to set the pizza guy's hair on fire
I told him I was sorry, I'm a liar
So, no toys for me .. I don't deserve 'em

I couldn't wait for a big wheel as the holiday neared
But then I told my grandma that she had a beard

(speaking) Dear Santa, I know what my problem is
Why I can't be good .. It's a fear of intimacy
You see, my whole life whenever I've met someone really great like you
and I keep feeling I'm getting too close to them
Something inside me makes me want to screw it up
So in a weird way the reason I'm so bad is because I love you so much Santa

Rock 'em, Sock 'em robots is what I was hopin' for
But then I made a death threat to Vice President Gore
Oh Santa won't be knockin' on my door
'Cause he's a big fat whore
What made me say that!?
Chutes and LaddersWould be so good indeed
So why's I have to sell that cop a bag of weed
So Santa please give me my Easy Bake Oven
I swear I thought Billy goats were made for lovin'

So Santa won't you accept my appoligies
Santa can't you see, I'm beggin' you please
Oh Santa, next year I'll do you right
.. Live from New YorkIt's Saturday Night

Cute song. share lang! Merry Christmas y'all!!!!! :)

Passport Renewal

2007-11-15T05:41:00.001+12:00

Those of you who plan to renew their passports, go and take the P1,099-1,250 offers at malls. i was there last monday and up until today, i feel soooooo tired. hahah. I mean, yeah, if you go there, you only get to spend P500 for the processing (and an additional P155 for the pictures if you don't bring any and P180 if you want it delivered to your doorstep a day after the date of release of your new passport.)

tipid kung sa tipid. but to go through all the trouble? trust me. you would rather pay the mall/travel agency prices, lalo na kung wala kang kasabay magparenew. imagine, pipila ka sa isang basketball court. tapos pila ulit sa kabilang building, ganun ganun. Plus even before entering the DFA compounds, people outside harass you. as in. mga fixers at kung anu-ano. and the agencies in the area charge P1,700 pa. eh since i was there na din, i figured ipila ko nalang at lahat. (at pinanindigan ko sa mga fixers na hindi ko sila kailangan sa buhay ko! haha.) it took me 3 solid hours to finish the pila pila. unlike other things-to-do, dito, you don't get to have short breaks or whatever. not even washroom breaks. or else... wala ka na sa pilaaaa.

yeah, personal appearance is already required even for renewals but if you choose to renew via a third party, malaking oras at pagod ang mawawala sayo. they'll have you scheduled for the personal appreance and you'll go straight to the payment step. that took me 2 hours and 55 minutes since i decided to renew it myself in DFA. parang sandali lang ba? nako noh, agonizing yun. lalo na i came from shift and i went there alone. buti i had a mini-radio with earphones. nakakaiwas ako sa mga taong bored din sa pila na feeling close. mga tipong ngingitian ka at tatanungin ka ng "magttrabaho ka ba sa abroad o tourist ka lang?" at sinasagot ko lang ng stare. (like don't you get it? i do not talk to strangers.)

so yun lang. oh, and added info lang. for regular processing, yun P500, 15 working days yun. pag rush, yun 7 working days to process, P750. i don't know about first time application though. he.. la lang.

share, share. :)

100th

2007-09-22T22:57:00.000+13:00

My 100th post. and i don't even know what to write about. had i not been granted of a vacation leave, i wouldn't have even made this.

so what's new? a lot, actually. from being a bum for 4 months (uh, and having stints in different fields prior to that), i now have work. real work. been with the company for over 9 months now and i am officially promoted come October 1st. yipee!

i guess.. the most interesting thing that happened to me the past months is living alone. i live in this place near the office. it's my father's, actually, haha. so luckily, i don't pay for rent. i'm living independently -- minus the bills. haha! may ganun ba? oo. ako. haha. but seriously, for someone who loves 'me time', living alone really works. i never even imagined i could last 9 months in that situation but surprisingly, i'm loving it. siguro autistic lang talaga ako. :p

my 100th post may be senseless. it may mean nothing to you. but it does a lot to me.

what can i say? things have been coming my way lately. finally. and i have every reason to be happy. :)

Interesting Replies

2006-10-23T18:13:00.000+13:00

I forwarded this message to my friends last week.

"I've learned that you can not make someone love you...
All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in. haha.Ü"

Yeah, quite a simple, pa-cute message. But i got interesting replies that i wanted to document them. hehe. here they go.

1. Hmm. Haven't tried that. (ano, tipong 'masubukan nga' effect? haha.)
2. Been there. Done that! (at proud pa. haha! so, did it wok?)
3. You should be thankful i didn't go that far with you. (or.. something like this. hah! sira! hee.)
4. Let the stalking begin!!! (Game!)

Eto lang mga natandaan ko, eh. pero haha, wala lang. aliw.

BABY BOY!

2006-09-25T08:49:00.000+13:00

Please genuflect for the arrival of his royal highness LIAM OLINGER ROCHE CARINGAL DIMAGIBA, born September 24, 2006. 3.8 kilos, 54 cm.

:)

FANTASY ...

2006-08-16T18:49:00.000+13:00

do you know why some people will always remain a fantasy?

.
..
...
....
.....
......
.......
........
.........
..........
...........
............
.............
..............
...............
................
.................

.. because they were NEVER REAL to begin with ..

VOICES

2006-08-02T21:53:00.000+13:00

I’ve gon’ crazy.
Yup.
Hearing voices in my head..

The first voice says, “You’re tired, Melay.”
Second one says, “Kaya pa yan, Melay.”
And then you go askin’ me, “Melay? Are you happy?”

And I say, “Yes.”

And i realized...
i may hear different voices in m'head. identifying them even..
and i may have people shouting at m'face..
but you know what?
i will 'listen' to myself.

i'm happy.

and you can't do nothin' 'bout that.

now i'm talkin' to myself. haha.
i missed this.
haha!

hope all you guys are, if not ecstatic, happy nman. Ü

BASKETBALL PART I

2006-07-04T21:56:00.000+13:00

As opposed to what most people may think, music was not my first love. It was my second love (and hopefully not the last).

My first love was… basketball.

I remember how often my papa, kuya and I went to Cherry Foodarama to buy a cheap hoop. What could I expect? It was cheap. After a week of playing, not even welding could fix it. And a simple pour of rain can wear away the sign on the plywood board that says “Purefoods”.

We got bigger, obviously. Well, at least my brother did. Papa had this standard-sized basketball hoop made in our garage. Yes, the real thing on a really hard board. Bigger hoop, bigger board and yes, bigger ball!

Then I learned to play ball. It wasn’t as easy as one would think just because I had an easy access to a basketball court, half-court, if I may say so. I rarely won a game on that court. After all, I played against my papa, my kuya and my ate and they were giants to me then. (Now, they are just ‘taller’ than me.)

When I was in grade school, I loved volleyball but it never loved me back. I also competed in track and field during seventh grade but I never really enjoyed running under the scorching heat regardless if I had a competition in La Salle Greenhills (cuties!!) or Camp Crame (uhh..). And I didn’t even consider playing softball because I never liked the feeling of sweating hands inside a thick, leather mit. I can even be mistaken for a softball bat back then if you knew how the typical softball player looked like. I’m sure you know. Lawn tennis, table tennis, swimming, chess? Ehem. I was born to win, not to lose. So I scrapped those out.

Sadly, there was no basketball varsity in my high school. I would’ve loved training everyday for that. So everything I learned from that half-court, I never really used… until I stepped into college.

And although it was just intercollegiate basketball and not the UAAP thing, it was competitive enough. I loved wearing my Duke styled uniform. I loved running in my basketball shoes that my papa generously sponsored every season. I loved playing with my teammates who had big talents, even bigger hearts. I loved ignoring trash talks. Yes, I said ignoring. I loved the cheering, taunting and screaming of the crowd. And I loved how we filled-up the gym in a matter of 5 minutes when people see us come in, not wanting to miss even the jump ball because player #7 does that for us. Charlene Bonnin. Whose name on her jersey says “Gonzales” and whose name on her marriage certificate now says “Muhlach”.

We never captured the championship though. But basketball captured me. in so many ways. in weird ways that sometimes, i have the tendency to associate whatever that goes on in my life with basketball... haha. weird, huh? yeah. i'll tell you about those in Basketball Part II.

It's (NOT) My Birthday

2006-06-29T03:25:00.000+13:00

David thought it was my birthday last Saturday. He greeted me a couple of nights before. Come Friday night, he texted and said, “Let’s celebrate!”

For the record, it wasn’t my birthday. But melay lakas trip again, naki-ride. Haha. He picked me up from my office. Texted and made yaya to our circle of friends. I had to tell the others that it wasn’t my birthday nga kse people started texting me and greeting me! Until talaga the next day, meron pa din nagtetext! Haha! And then shempre binulungan ko na yun mga sumunod that night (Paras, Eulr and Cedric) that it wasn’t my birthday nga. Na sumakay lang sila. So yun.

I never really knew how many buckets of beer we consumed that night. and every kampay we were like “Happy Birthday Melay!!” Funny.

Anyway… when everybody went home, I was left with David who offered to accompany me on my way home. So while we were kinda sobering up over a cup of coffee around 3 in the morning, I finally told him, “It’s not my birthday, man. Thanks, though. You’re the first one to greet me this year.” *grin*

Funnier pa these messages that I got.

Meldonne: Sabi ko na eh. Ang alam ko talaga end of July or August ang birthday mo eh.
Eulr: kelan ba talaga birthday mo? Ang alam ko talaga October.

O0o0okay… wutever! Meldonne, forgivable. Eulr, wutever talaga! Hmpf! Buti pa yun iba, safe, just asked when my birthday is ba talaga.

So, kelan nga ba?

Secret.
(mga pakshet kayo. Hehe.)

FIRST AND LAST

2006-06-21T17:09:00.000+13:00

They say there's always a first time for everything.

first times are always memorable because of the experience itself. either for making you super happy (in effect, looking forward to the next time around)or for making you feel awfully bad (bad experience, dude).

there are a gazillion things to experience in this world. you can't avoid first times.

and if that first time is a terrible experience, let me just remind you that there can always be a last time too.

if you know when to stop.

now that's what they call the first AND last time.

SUMMER OF ‘06

2006-06-05T04:11:00.000+13:00

My summer of 2006? Hmm.. where do I begin talking about my summer?

I wasn’t able to go to the beach to begin with. But I am not so much a fan of the beach naman. I love the beach without the sun and without the people. So going to the beach during summer? Not really my kind of thing. And I have a commitment kase every Saturday night so… hindi ako nakakasama sa mga nagyayaya magbeach. Ayun.

I wasn’t even able to spend my Holy Week in the province like I always did. There were just some reasons for staying here.

Kakainis lang. one time I arrived in the office. A colleague said, “San ka nagbeach???” Aba, nangitim daw ako. Bad trip. Nangingitim ako ng hindi man lang nagbeabeach. O diba. Nakakatawa.

But then, it was one helluva summer for me. Masaya. There were times that I felt there were things that were really brighter than sunshine so to speak. Really. (kaya siguro ako nangitim? Haha.) But during the latter part of it, when it sort of started to rain, I also felt being in overlapping darkness. Bad trip again, I got sick pa nga. At first I thought it was just some kind of a psychosomatic thing, but then nagtuloy tuloy na. Fever as in chills and all that crap in the middle of the night and can’t-go-to-work-the-next-day effect. hay.

But yun nga, generally speaking, it was an unforgettable summer. Gigs. Moments. Hanging out. Sneaking around. Sticking together. Defying pampagulos. Masaya. Kahit inulan ako nung banding huli, it was all worth it. I never would have wanted it any other way.

Now, it’s always raining. I soooooooo hate it when it rains. Aside from feeling lethargic, it always brings my spirits down. Always. But yup, summer’s over. So is… hmm.. it’s over.

What a time to rain on me.

(sabay maririnig ko pa yun ulan ng cueshe, na hindi naman ako fan, tuwing sumasakay ko ng taxi. Duhell. Lagi na lang daw umuulan. Para daw walang katapusan. Duh. Meron kaya. Meron.)

CAPTAIN BARBEL AT IBA PA

2006-06-02T21:54:00.000+13:00

Napanood ko yun teaser ng Captain Barbel sa channel 7 nung Linggo. Wala lang. Parang hindi bagay kay Richard Guttierez.. hehe. Yun much talked about at very controversial na costume niya na ayaw pa i-disclose sa public kung magkano (pero close to 1 million pesos daw), parang -- nyek. Yun na yun? I mean, hindi maganda tignan on him. Parang lumiit yun ulo niya. Hehe!

Chaka bakit sha din yun alter-ego ni Captain Barbel dun? Si Enteng (pero based on my research ay pwede ding Tengteng/Enteng/Ting-Ting sa dinami-daming versions nito). Wala lang. kinalakihan ko lang siguro na iba yun magpplay ng alter-ego ni Captain Barbel. Pero dati naman daw si Bob Soler lang din ang nagplay ng both characters (19??). Yun kay Dolphy ba, sha lang din yun (1965)? Parang off ata na sha din yun Captain Barbel dun, sa payat niya noon. Hehe.

Kase look, yun mga movie versions after nun, like yun kay Edu Manzano, si Herbert Bautista yun alter-ego niya (1986). And then yun kay Bong Revilla, Ogie Alcasid naman played opposite his role (2003).

Hmm. Baka due to budget constraints yun ngayon? Hehe. Sa bagay, sabi nila nun sa Mulawin, Richard earned P200K per episode. Kamusta naman at araw-araw kaya iyon. Haha. Kaya sha na lang din yun alter-ego ni Captain Barbel ngayon kahit hindi naman bagay. Pero napag-isip nga ako dun eh. Kung sakali, sino kaya ang pwedeng alter-ego sa Captian Barbel na series ngayon?

Tingin ko?

Si Raymond Guttierez. Hehe.

(Naku, another P200K na naman ba yun per episode? Baka kalahati lang. hehe.)

SAD THOUGHTS

2006-05-29T21:18:00.000+13:00

Woke up today with sad, sad thoughts. *sigh*

I have been bending and breaking lately to understand the situation I am in. pero I still can't. why is that kaya? Hmm. i don't know much to be able to fully understand things. and i just got tired of hearing 'sorry' because i don't know what it is for. first time in my life that i refused to accept a 'sorry'. but i do have a point, don't i? hmm.

i'm not mad though. think that's weird? i don't think so. let's go back to the premise that i do not know anything about what's happening. that includes not knowing of any reason to be mad.

so what were my sad, sad thoughts?

hmm. sabi nila the truth will set you free. i woke up this morning choosing to remain free despite not knowing what i have to know, the truth. haha. labo ko ba? well, i don't exactly have to, like, 'have to' know din naman talaga. and i am not in the position to demand an explanation for what happened. i don't want this whole thing holding me back from God knows what else i could do and who else i could meet. i'm better than this. i'm better than this.

so waking up this morning, instead of waiting for the truth to be told or wondering if i'll ever get to know the reasons why this had to happen, i decided to get up from bed, say my morning prayers and live.

i am free from the drama that put me down the past couple of weeks. i still don't know the reason behind that drama. but i'll leave it at that.

sad, sad thoughts. *sigh*

some coño guy

2006-05-25T21:22:00.000+13:00

did you ever wonder where some-coño-guy went?

he's HERE.

WHAT'S NEW?

2006-05-08T06:49:00.000+13:00

Not much, I guess.

Hmm. What can I say? It’s been a while (again) since I last said something here. Well, as I always say, this blog has been my virtual shock absorber ever since I started on this. And as you might have noticed, I haven’t been blogging lately. Again, what can I say?

Haha. There’s just not much to whine and rant about, you know what I mean? Well, siguro the only thing that kinda pissed me off lately was that my contract as a part-time call center agent was not renewed. Apparently, our account was already ‘over-staffed’. Who told them to keep on hiring part-timers, anyway?! Haha. Now I’m ranting!! Haha! Nah, but seriously, it was kind of an ego thing, but kung ayaw nila saken, ayaw ko din sa kanila. Hehehe. The thing is – I really don’t have time to process my clearance sh*t, so my backpay is still being held. Tss!

Anywaaaay… things have changed since then. I have been working as an OJT (feels like crap to be called such at this age, but I just have to take it. Hehe.) in this small medical transcription company in ortigas. Back to the routinary day job. Bummer! Good thing I have gigs to put some thrill in my boring life. For this month, I am booked for Wednesdays and Saturdays. 3AM band performs at BARBARIBA, beside CCP, Harbour Square, Roxas Blvd, Pasay City every Wednesday and GIRL FOR HIRE at BARAKO, Eastwood-gilid, Lbis, QC every Saturday. Nood naman kayo mga friends!Mag-plug ba?!!! so this blogsite isn’t just a virtual shock absorber after all. Haha!

Hmm. What else? Hmm. Did I just say that my life is boring?

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.

That’s something new.

ISN'T THAT A GREAT OFFER?!

2006-04-27T05:38:00.000+13:00

PeopleSupport Part-timers Batch 2

where is melay, where is melay..
there i am! there i am!

hindi po ako absent nitong araw na ito. haha.

BIYERNES SANTO

2006-04-21T11:10:00.000+13:00

nung biyernes santo, i was left home alone. my mom and brother were in laoag. my dad went home late.

a friend of mine texted.

tomits: di ka ba natatakot, mag-isa ka lang jan sa bahay?
ako: ano naman ang katatakutan ko? hmm?
tomits: di ba sabi ng matatanda, madaming mga masasamang espirito tuwing ganitong panahon kase patay si Hesus?
ako: well, sabihin mo sa mga matatanda, may tradisyon lang tayong ganito every year para alalahanin na namatay si Hesus para sa ating lahat. pero buhay si Hesus. kawawa naman sha kung taon-taon na lang namamatay sha, diba?

di ba?!!

KAMOT ULO

2006-04-20T07:36:00.000+13:00

Nababaliw na naman po ako.

I’m sure at some point nararanasan natin lahat ito. O ako lang? haha. Hindi ko alam. Umabot na ba kayo sa point na hindi niyo na alam ang gagawin niyo? Parang nagawa niyo na lahat, as in sagad ka na. hindi ka naman pagod. Parang hindi mo na lang alam kung ano pang gagawin mo para makuha yun gusto mo. Iba yun pagod sa naubusan ka na ng paraan eh. Parang “ano pa bang kailangan kong gawin? Ano pa?!!!”

Minsan sinabi ko sa isang kaibigan ko: “para lang yang lumalaban sa giyera. Hindi ka pwedeng lumaban ng watergun lang ang dala mo. Kelangan may baon kang mga bala. At gamitin mo ang mga bala mo wisely.” Well, at this point, naubusan na ako ng bala. Is this a sign that I should retreat?

Parang kase ngayon, nakatayo na lang ako. nagkakamot ng ulo. Then what? Shoot me. I am good as dead.

Pero karamihan naman ng tao, ang sabi sa akin, hindi naman ako bumabaril. Kumbaga, I am not putting up a good fight daw. But I am, I swear to God, I am! Mahirap lang patumbahin ang kalaban. Ako nga ba ang napatumba? Excuse me. Grabe ang fighting spirit nito. Laban kung laban. Bring it on.

Pero hayaan mo muna akong tumayo dito at magkamot ng ulo. Nag-iisip pa ako ng game plan. Wait lang…

CONGRATULATE ME.

2006-04-16T08:04:00.000+13:00

You won’t believe this. I just finished my Medical Transcription course last month. The thing that I am most proud of is actually the fact that I sent myself to school. Yes! I did! It was tough! But I did that! Grabe, I thought of other people nga who worked, are working or will be working just to finish high school or college. I felt so lucky for not having done that then. Ang hirap pala. But at the end of the day, it’s just soooo fulfilling!

Shet. Pinaaral ko sarili ko. Im soooo damn proud.

MISSING BOREDOM

2006-03-15T01:25:00.000+12:00

I am back to living the life I am known for. Fast-paced and hectic.

Juggling school, work and gigs – not a good idea. Haha. But then this is the life that I chose and still choose to live. I am not actually aiming to be rich, although that being granted wouldn’t hurt so much. I guess I just get a high doing so much things. I realized it’s better to keep myself pre-occupied than waste time over-analyzing stuff, like I always did. The thing is, I don’t have time to ‘go out’ again. but uhm.. wala lang. haha.

But of course… I do miss boredom.

Late last year, I just bummed around for more than two months. I slept for 24-36 hours. (I can’t even say 24-36 hours ‘a day’ because it’ll be technically incorrect to say so.) I went to almost all nights out there were, with the condition that the one who invited me will pay for what I eat and drink. Obviously jobless, I was dead broke! hehe. (Again, I am very thankful for being blessed with wonderful people in my life! You guys are sooo wonderful that you even pay for my food and drinks!! Hahaha!) I did movie marathons from my computer til 8am. My guitar and I were inseparable. I even experienced falling asleep with my guitar beside me! I had all the time to review for my medtrans exams. Mavis Beacon even became my bestfriend! There was even a time that I ran out of things to do, I cleaned my slippers, yes, as in brushed them, at 3am.

But those were the days. Now, I can’t even reply to a text message. I should be creating a message template in my phone that goes: “Sorry. Late reply...” Hehehe. Whew! I sure miss boredom, but what I have now is the life that I want. I’m living it and loving it!

NEW SPORT

2006-03-01T04:25:00.000+12:00

i've decided not to push through with my post-valentine blog. as i've said, valentine's day is - and will always be - an over-rated occasion. it makes people soooo predictable. some dumb*sses think that they still 'surprise' people with sweet things during that day. oh please. not me.

anyway, been keeping myself busy. as usual. my highschool friends and i tried boxing this weekend. kinda cool actually. well, it was karen and her boyfriend, winchu, who were already regulars at that gym and they figured we should try it altogether just for the experience. (we do that often to add spice to our boring lives. we sleep over hotels in ortigas, go to the zoo and blahblahblah.) so, the boxing thing turned out to be a wonderful experience. of course, it was not competitive. i mean, hello? we are too old for that to begin with, and violence is really not our thing. and we are not angst-filled human beings who need to give vent to such over a punching bag. basically, we just wanted to feel like gretchen baretto for a couple of hours. haha.

my trainer was renan. he is just 17 years old. he told me he started boxing when he was 12 and he still fights in amatuer competitions back home and even here in manila. and he's ilonggo by the way. i actually had a hard time understanding him whenever he was egging me to punch. "JAB! STRAIGHT! CROSS! STRAIGHT! UPPER! UPPER! CROSS! STRAIGHT!!!" I know those words should sound differently, but he makes them sound all the same! haha. wierd. i guess it's just me.

so there. another new sport for me. you guys should try it too. we boxed at elorde gym in julia vargas (near metrowalk). the session fee is P200, that covers for the equipment, facilities and trainer for unlimited number of hours. (hanggang mamatay ka, sabi nga ni karen. haha!!) i highly suggest that you bring your own boxing gloves though. i don't think i'm going back there without my own boxing gloves. (for the same reason why i was never into softball back in highschool. haha.) you just need to buy your own hand wraps. the brand TKO is P135. i believe that's the cheapest that they've got for beginners. oh, and make sure you get yours in pairs. (right, lance? hehe.) hmm. basically, that's all you need and you can get started!

lockers, shower rooms, very friendly staff, free parking and a variety of restaurants to choose from to reload after you box. what else can you ask for? to all you people who are looking for something new to do, try boxing. again, valentine's day - not my thing. boxing - could be. hell, this just shows what kind of a person i am! haha!

30 DAYS AND 30 NIGHTS

2006-02-11T06:12:00.000+12:00

It’s been a while since I said much here huh? The past 30 days have been the best I had for years. Got a new part-time job, which is ‘workably likable’, except for my schedule I guess. I met new people from there and from somewhere else. I just finished my 5^th month studying medical transcription (1 month na lang! whew!). And I’m playing gigs again.

The past 30 days and 30 nights made me realize that life is beautiful. It’s not always fair, but if you learn to walk your way through it, you’ll learn that it’s not all that bad. If you can be ecstatic, why just settle with being happy? A stupid commercial over the radio can make you laugh. Sitting on the couch the whole afternoon while switching tv channels is never boring. And sharing a cookie with someone is sweet.

So, yes, I haven’t been blogging much lately. I guess, the past 30 days, I have been left speechless most of the time. For all different reasons. The good, the bad, and the ugly. But who needs words? Definitely not me. In the next gazillion days and gazillion nights, all I need is a guitar and a song, and I will get by.

Because during the past 30 days and 30 nights, I have been brought back to life. And I thank the AMAZING people who did that to me. ‘From the deepest recesses of my heart’ – THANK YOU.

Post Script: You know who you are.

unang araw by sugarfree

2006-02-09T17:43:00.000+12:00

Sadya ba talagang ganyan
Palakad-lakad ka't nakatungo
Sa'n patungo?

Ngayong wala ka na
Kailangang masanay na muling nag-iisa
Sa'n ka na kaya?

'Wag mo akong sisihin
Kung minsan ikay hanapin ..

Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na..
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na..

Nasanay lang sigurong nand'yan ka
'Di ko inakalang pwede kang mawala
'Yan na nga..

Nababato, nalulungkot
Luha'y napapawi ng singhot
At talukbong ng kumot..

'Wag mo akong sisihin
kung minsan akong iyakin..

Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na..
Ito ang unang araw na wala ka na..

BETTER LUCK

2006-02-07T17:48:00.000+12:00

life is not all about how you make it. whether we like it or not, there are other forces that make quite an impact in our lives.

there's being at the right place at the right time.
there's chance.
there's opportunity.
there's luck.

and sometimes, no matter how you play it right, no matter how you play it fair, you don't always get what you want. more so, what you deserve.

it's just the way it is.

you find true happiness .......
then they take it away.

because it was not meant to be yours.

because you weren't at the right place at the right time.
you probably had the chance.
you probably had the opportunity.

but luck was not on your side.

that's just the way it is.

better luck next time. *sigh*

so far .. so good .. (so far.. hehe..)

2006-02-03T00:32:00.000+12:00

Here it is. 2006!

Well…. What can I say? Wala eh. I noticed puro tungkol sa frustrations ko ang mga pinagb –blog ko. Kaya siguro ngayon, wala akong masulat kase basically – I’m happy. Bakit? Hindi ko din alam. Hehe. Siguro I have learned to appreciate the things I have and I simply find happiness in them. Tapos. Lalo na sa mga bagong bagay ngayong bagong taon. My new job and my new ‘friends’. Not naman super nasa-langit-ako happy, pero kung pwede pang i-push ng konti, nasa langit na siguro ako. Haha!

Naku, hindi po ako adik ha? May push-push pa kase ako at pa-langit langit. Hehe. Hanuba. At ano ba tong pinagsasabi ko? Haha. Wala lang.

I hope the new year has been good to you guys as it has been (..so far..) to me.

wow.. i wasn't able to blog about anything last month. that's new. hehe. share lang.

2006

2005-12-31T05:06:00.000+12:00

I can hardly wait. I have never been more excited in anticipating a new year in my entire life. I have so many plans for 2006 and I am just so thrilled to get things going! After a terrible year, it’s just so ironic feeling so feisty towards the end of it. I thought that nothing thrills me anymore. But I take that back.

Something might have just given me a nudge or whatever. I’m throwing away all the drama out of the window. All of a sudden I am Miss Brightside. The good old me. Just the way I want it. I shall take pleasure in the smallest details (sabi nga sa Reality Bites diba). "You know... a quarter-pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter becomes a cackle... and I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt."

Eto. Let me share some lines from one of my favorite books. They are kinda inspiring. Not exactly the words you would hear from a wise man, but to me, they are just as effective.

All I Needed to Know, I Learned in Kindergarten
Robert Fulghum

Share everything. Play Fair. Don’t hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don’t take things that aren’t yours.
Say you’re sorry when you hurt someone.
Wash your hands before you eat. Flush.
Warm cookies and milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life – learn some, think some, draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
Be aware of wonder.

2006 here I come!! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYBODY!!!

MY 2005

2005-12-07T23:20:00.000+12:00

2005 hasn't ended yet. December has just begun. but i can say that this has been the worst year of my life. oh yeah. a pretty tough one. i have been struggling to keep up, but it seems that each day just gets harder. Fine. i may be over-acting again, as i obviously have a far better life than most Filipnos have. oo nah. i guess this is just the quarterlife crap. i know i'll be fine..

next year.
haha.

anyway.. here are some of the things that i realized this year. hmm.. well, not exactly "realizations" per se.. sabihin na natin na these are merely things that want to say.

here it goes:

1 i miss pinugu. but i'm glad the rest of the gang is still intact. my hs friends are my 'bestest' buddies.
2 from being an actuarial analyst, i became a call center agent. now i am a bum. tell me what's next..
3 i chose medical transcription studies over MBA studies. i'm still hoping that i made the right decision..
4 i am never gonna be a rockstar.
5 i am (very much) capable of dumping a friend. i may never be open to reconciliations if i found out how big of a moron she is.
6 there are some friendships that are worth saving. i can go through hell and back just to save them. (but again-- for morons, go to hell yourselves. hehe.)
7 i've known of around 12 break-ups this year. that's 1 each month! grabe noh. wala lang.
8 i have unintentionally broken somebody's heart. i'm sorry.
9 i'm afraid i might be getting into something that i can't easily get out of.. basta..
10 i do get tired, people. i do.
11 kahit gaano ka lumayo sa alcohol, lalapit at lalapit ito sa iyo.
12 someone's getting married next year. wenongayon?!! bitter? haha. pakshet.

i know it's a little early to sum up my 2005. but i don't think there's anything more sensational (or bogus even) that's gonna happen in the remaining days. i think i have had enough. i know there's still Christmas and all, and i'm not Scrooge not to notice that. i do feel Christmas. That is exacty why i'm feeling this way.

throw me some of those life-changing cliches. might be of help.
not. hehe.

wake me up when 2005 ends.

LOVE SHRINK

2005-11-11T01:03:00.000+12:00

after quitting my job (again..), i suddenly had a new career. i am now a shrink.

During d past two -- and i say two days, five -- and i say five of my friends have actually either called or texted me to seek my friendly, or should i say, not-so-friendly advice.

i am now a love shrink. (yuck.)

As if i know much about it. I brag about being a retired hopeless romantic all the time. I know absolutely nothing about love. So why do i come to mind when they need to release some of their thoughts about it?

I'm asking you.

A couple of them have actually been 'regulars'. Apparently, when they talk to me, nalilinawanagan daw sila. E nambobola lang naman ako. Haha!No, but seriously, what i will say will always be what it already is. And i don't give conclusions. Just options for them because ultimately, they will be responsible for their actions. (shempre hugas kamay ako. Haha.) There's no secret method in giving out an advice. It's called rationale. Sentido comon.

Sometimes i feel like, "jeez, everything's laid out on the table. Need i say more?!" But i guess some people just need to hear reiterations of the matter, so fine. What are friends for? What are shrinks for?

Hey you guys, the next time around you should -- and i say should pay me for that. ok?

GRACY'S WEDDING

2005-11-01T03:08:00.000+12:00

this is it. our friend gracy is actually married.

at the reception, my college classmates were wildly guessing who could be next. aldwin and gio insisted it would be me. i said, "good luck sa inyo!" and they were like dead serious, "d nga. yun least expected, yun ang sumusunod." i didn't know if that was a compliment or what. but i am pretty sure that i won't be the next one among us to get married. i can bet everything i have now (which is not so much, by the way) on that. i could be the next after the next, but definitely not the next. my chances of being the next american idol might even be far better than that..

and so, the m.c. called on all single ladies for the bouquet throwing thing. i was like what-the-heck-i-won't-catch-it-anyway. but they changed it from the usual throwing, asked us to form a circle as we passed around the freakin' bouquet while music was playing. the music stopped while the bouquet was, yes, with me. the crowed shrieked as if it was a big deal. (you know that typical pinoy kilig-sigaw thing? that one.) anyways, to make the long story short, the one who wore the garter on me was my kapit-bahay. we're not like super friends, but i've known the guy since 1st grade. we are not even the kind of neighbors who give each other fruitcake every christmas. so much for the pamahiin, huh?

basically, the night went well. i missed gracy walking towards the altar because i was late, as usual. i also missed the you-may-kiss-the-bride part because i was eating squidballs outside the church at that time. gio, aldwin and meldonne witnessed everything. karlo asked paras if he could make him thinner in the pictures (something i think was impossible unless paras had photoshop or something in his phone). paras has really, and i mean really, lost a lot of weight since i last saw him. and according to him, sheera looked more of a ninang than an abay. haha.

congrats to mon and gracy!

KAKAIBANG TAXI DRIVER

2005-10-27T04:22:00.000+13:00

minsan sinundo ako ng hs friend ko, si karen. we were going to have dinner at Tiendesitas with our other friends.

nakatayo ako sa kanto ng pearl drive at nung nagsarang coffee shop doon.
dumating ang taxi.
bumaba si karen.
nagtaka ako kung bakit hindi pa niya pina-derecho yun taxi.
ganito pala ang nangyare.

karen: manong, may susunduin lang tayo sa pearl drive tapos pwede po ba i-derecho na natin sa Tiendesitas?
taxi driver: (hindi pumayag) anong akala mo sa akin? DRIVER?

naloka ang kaibigan ko at bumaba.

naloka din ata ako.

HIBERNATION

2005-10-19T17:42:00.000+13:00

the thought that i was dead crossed my mother's mind. for her, it was waaay tooo creepy. i think it was waaay tooo ... weird.

she creeped into my room, slowly approaching me as was sleeping on my bed. i moved. she sighed and left my room. for a moment, she thought that i was no longer breathing inside my room, where in fact, i was just 'hibernating.'

i couldn't blame her though. it has been more than 24 hours since she heard me say "mum, i'm home." more than 24 hours since she last heard my bedroom door close. and open, for that matter.

yes, i do sleep for more than 24 hours (sometimes 30, to be exact) on weekends. that's mainly because i sleep for like, 3-4 hours a day on weekends. the reasons behind that is about the scheduling of my work and school (gigs alongside, although that's very rare nowadays). it's complicated going into details. nakakatamad magtype.

a 24-hour sleep is part of my life. luckily, despite everything that's going on in it, i still have time for that. and i know most people don't. most people even can't. they keep asking me of that after-a-long-sleep headache. never really had one.

so if one time you text me and it's a weekend and i get to reply the next day, i probably just got out of my 24-hour slump. i just spent my day off. and i'm literally 'off' to another world.

a couple of weeks back, i woke up from that kind of sleep, reached for my phone, replied to a friend and she said:

wow! nabuhay ka!"

again and again and again -- i was not dead.

i was just 'hibernating'.

CORNY NA FRIENDSTER!!!

2005-10-10T00:47:00.000+13:00

"NEW FEATURES AT FRIENDSTER!

There have been some big changes here at Friendster. And change is good! Especially when it means new features and improvements that you specifically requested. That's right, you said jump, and we did.
blah blah blah..."

nakakatuwa din mga changes na ginawa nila. pwede nang mag-upload ng sangkatutak ng pictures, pwedeng pwede na i-customize yun itchura ng page mo, may blogs na din sila, at pwede ka pang mag-upload ng video. ok naman eh. napapabilib pa ako dati kase parang every week may bago sa friendster! pero yun pinakabago --

yun Who’s Viewed Me na link -- di ko ata gusto!!!!!!!! we said jump -- but it think you've overdone it.

ang corny!!!!! malalaman mo na kung sino nagv-view ng profile mo!! super kj! not that i don't care who views mine, pero i can't just view any profile i want! and not as frequently as i did!!!! .. hmp. nakakinis talaga. shempre ma-pride ako. ayokong isipin ng isang tao na vini-view ko profile niya. grabe, halos sa lahat ng taong nakahalubilo ko the past week, nab-bring up ito sa usapan. it IS news mga tsong.

ayan, inamin ko na -- nagv-view ako ng profile ng mga tao. ikaw ba hindi? i mean, gumawa lang ba ako ng friendster account para ma-view ng mga tao ang profile ko? duh.. ano ako, artista? shempre i check on some peeps once in a while. peeps like crushes, ex-crushes, their ex-es even, o kung sinong currents nila, etcetera etcetera! ngayon hindi ko na magawa!!! mabubuking ako! huwaah!!

ok pa yung how many times your profile has been viewed over a certain time eh. pero who's viewing who? nah. mashadong give-away. pampawala ng thrill. CORNY!!!!!

mga kaibigan ko na lang ulit iv-view ko. kahit may text naman para magkamustahan kame. hmph. iv-view ko na lang sila para malaman ko kung nag-edit ba sila ng profile nila o nagpalit ng default picture. daymn.

OUT OF THE 'MUSIC' BOX

2005-10-10T00:28:00.000+13:00

no offense to nina and mymp fans...

.. but i am glad that their cds are not being played all over the place anymore. well, not as much as before, at least. i mean, i go to 7-11, i ride on the fx, i eat at jollibee, i take a cab, i visit a friend in the hospital, i go to the office, i ride on my friend's car -- and all i hear is either nina's or mymp's album. i mean, please. give me a break, will ya? i have memorized their tracks, considering i don't have a copy of either albums! would you believe that?!

i do not hate them. they are great artists. i guess their songs are just overplayed, if there was such a thing. and i am a little disappointed that people have chosen to narrow down their preferences when it comes to music. there are more bands/artists out there, both localy and internationally. a hell of a lot more. and they have more to offer. originality, for instance. renditions are ok, but if it gets too much as this, then where have all the filipino song writing talents gone? are these artists just out there to please everyone's ears, almost forgetting to express themselves through their own way? own STYLE, yes. but own stuff? like lyrics, music and arrangement? nah. i think it's more fulfilling to be known for your own stuff, than being recognized as the one who did a version of julia fordham's or kathy trocolli's song. ( i give credit to kitchie nadal for doing her own stuff, although i am not a fan.)

and to listeners out there, are you just willing to settle with this? i know we all have this freedom of choice thingy. but believe me there's a whole lot more about music than this. a whole lot more.

p.s. nag-gig kame sa gweilo's makati nung friday. may nag-abot ng tissue. nag-request ng mga ganun. eventually, umuwi. hehe. oops!!! nagkamali sila ng napuntahan. hehe.

ALCOHOL-FREE ME

2005-09-12T03:26:00.000+13:00

i realized i've been drinking an average of 2 bottles of beer a week for the past month. this is terrible news for me. this has also led me to make a resolution.

i am bringing back my alcohol-free lifestyle. if you think that i can't, if you think that i am a drinker, then you do not know me at all. friends who have known me for at least 6 years can attest to that. i have spent the first 24 years of my life alcohol-free. how the hell could you think that i can't do that for the next 24? i was never a fan of alcohol. be it beer, tequila, lambanog, vodka, etc. (i don't even know what the others are actually called.) i just don't appreciate their taste. as plain and simple as that. ang joke pa sa akin noon, para mapainom ako, kelangan nakalagay sha sa planner ko -- a year in advance! hehe.

now, i just drink because i can't say 'no' most of the time. pag nahihiya pa ako sayo, mapapinom mo ako pag inalok mo ako. pero kung kada linggo ay may nagyayayang uminom -- this has got to stop! most people love the thought of drinking beer. but i am not most people. i used to hate it if people brand me as 'corny' or 'kj' just because i don't wanna drink. but now, honestly -- i do not care. i have decided to be alcohol-free again. bahala kayo sa buhay niyo. hehe.

i don't care if you drink gallons of it everyweek. just let me be if i don't wanna drink at all. if i survived taking juice or soda (ngayonn c2 na!! weehoo!!) during inuman sessions of the first 24 years of my life, i definitely still can for the next 24.

this serves as an announcement. if you won't allow me to drink anything without alcohol with you guys, i'd rather stay home. thank you.

taray!

hehe.

BEING TWENTY-SOMETHING

2005-09-03T00:08:00.000+13:00

(i don't have much time to make a post.. so lemme just do some copy and "post" thing. hehe.. courtesy of my good friend richelle.)

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis."

It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones.

What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't.

One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure.

You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life.You feel alone and scared and confused.

Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward.

You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you.

Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you are doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic.

You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself......

and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender...

What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

---------------------------------------
there you have it! isn't it nice to know that you're not the only onewho's being haunted by changes and the past? i'm saying this to you as well as to myself: move forward! do not be afraid. let the change take place and be thankful for it. don't cling to the past just because you're comfortable with it. let life take place.

embrace it.
love it.
find yourself and don't be afraid of who you are meant to be.

"Be not the kind to quit...It's not the load that breaks you down...it's the way you carry it."

(sapul. bow.)

WALKING IN CUBAO

2005-08-09T01:17:00.000+13:00

walking in cubao was an experience i never would wanna feel. not in the near future. no, i wasn't robbed or something. i just didn't like the feeling. the feeling of walking alone in cubao is paranoia to the nth degree. last night, the girl in front of me seemed used to the place as she was brisk walking. i thought of keeping it up to her pace.. but i realized it was more than brisk walking. it was a walkathon with criminals. it was even a mind game. it was reading the minds of the people within my proximity. who are the bad guys?! who are the good guys?! not that i have so much to lose, but i tell you.. it was hell.

nevertheless, walking in cubao was the much needed exercise i was looking for. i hope the next time i get to do that again, i will still be able to live and blog about it.

LAST LAUGH! WAHAHA!

2005-08-02T00:30:00.000+13:00

i am happy upon hearing that your day totally becomes ruined when you hear my name. no, i am not happy. that's an understatement. i am ecstatic!

it's amazing how you came up with such statements. i'm gonna give you a C+ for the effort. for your futile attempt to make up stories. congratulations! you just made it to the losers club! you have been chosen as the flavor of the month! i know, i know. you like it that way. you know, the attention and all. well then, you are now the object of dislike, disgust, despise, abomination. whatever you wanna call it. you are the epitome of mental imbecility. you are despicable. and i'd be more than willing to give the award to you. oops! no, why don't you do the honors? get a permanent marker, and draw the letter "L" on your forehead. oh, and don't face the mirror after that. you might wonder what the mirror image of that letter means. you can get that stupid, you know.

don't feel flattered that i spent time doing this. save the flattery for another time. it is actually my pleasure writing this. this will also serve as an entertainment for my friends. and i feel awfully sorry for you.. for being technologically-challenged. because all you can do with a pc is to log in to yahoo and friendster. poor you.

very poor you. you have tried to squeeze in our crowd for the longest time. and it's such a pity that you finally got into my nerve. and everybody else's, for that matter. now there's no room for you. plenty for others, but none for you. for your head is just too blown up, but you brain remains miniscule. (i hope by now, you know what the word means.)

don't worry, the feeling is mutual. (the feeling is actual, if you were to say that. hehehe.) except that i am delighted when i hear your name. because that sparks up another interesting discussion about your pathetic antics. how you have transformed from a gremlin to .. an even bigger, uglier... gremlin. wahehe. but sorry, none of us is afraid of you. not me. not any of my friends. i used to think that i can't bear being within a 20-foot radius from you. but if i can ruin your day with just that, it will be my pleasure. so be afraid. be very afraid. i just might come around.

HAPPY?

2005-07-27T05:52:00.000+13:00

so i'm twenty-toooooot.. now what?

eto na ata ang pinakama-drama kong birthday. hehe. wala lang. nasa stage na din siguro ako ng buhay na kailangang kumilos para hindi mapag-iwanan.. grabe na ang sacrifices ko lately.. sana magbunga na din in time.. kumikilos naman ako eh. hindi nga lang mashadong sineswerte. pero ayos na din. mababaw lang naman ang mga problema ko. kailangan ko lang magtanggal ng konting luho sa buhay. minsan naglalakad ako sa buendia. nakita ko may mga mamang naghuhukay sa gilid ng bangketa. parang sa drainage or something. nagpupukpok sila. naghuhukay ng lupa. umaga, tanghali, gabi. ultimo madaling araw, na-witness ko na rin yun minsan. bigla kong naisip na mas-swerte pa ako sa ibang tao. biro mo sila, ginagawa yun para kumita ng pera. grabe noh? buti na lang ako hindi ganun. kaya imbes na humiling ng humiling, naappreciate ko bigla kung ano ang meron ako. nagpasalamat ako bigla sa mga blessings ko.

ayun. so feel ko lang talaga magdrama. bakit ba? pagbigyan niyo na lang ako. hehe. wag niyo ko mashadong seryosohin. masaya naman ako. maarte lang talaga ako. hehe. pero wala na talaga akong mahihiling pa sa pamilya ko. sa mga kaibigan ko. wala. mahal ko kayong lahat! naks!

share ko lang. nagpaburn ako ng KEANE sa isang friend ko. (mashado ka nang nababanggit sa mga blogs ko! pansin ko lang! kaya di muna kita babanggitin dito! hehehe!) yun album nilang Hopes and Fears. gusto ko lang i-share tong mga kantang to. papakinggan ko to hanggang mamayang mga alas-sinco ng umaga. hehe. (kasalukuyang 1:25a na.)

"Somewhere Only We Know"

I walked across an empty land

I knew the pathway like the back of my hand

I felt the earth beneath my feet

Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing where have you gone

I'm getting old and I need something to rely on

So tell me when you're gonna let me in

I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree

I felt the branches of it looking at me

Is this the place we used to love?

Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

And if you have a minute why don't we go

Talk about it somewhere only we know?

This could be the end of everything

So why don't we go

Somewhere only we know?

"Everybody's Changing"

You say you wander your own land

But when I think about it

I don't see how you can

You're aching, you're breaking

And I can see the pain in your eyes

Says everybody's changing

And I don't know why So little time

Try to understand that I'm

Trying to make a move just to stay in the game

I try to stay awake and remember my name

But everybody's changing

And I don't feel the same You're gone from here

And soon you will disappear

Fading into beautiful light

Cause everybody's changing

And I don't feel right

wala lang. medjo nakaka-relate lang. siguro ang pinaka-nagpa-spark ng drama mode ko ay yung nakita ni pia sa petron nlex a few hours ago... sana ako na lang ang nakakita? o buti na lang hindi ako yun nakakita? hindi ko din alam.

basta ang alam ko.. masaya ako. (maarte lang! hehe!) masaya ako! birthday ko eh! salamat sa mga nakaalala! Ü

BIRTHDAY BLOG

2005-07-19T04:25:00.000+13:00

hey you guys! get your pens ready.. this is a list of what i want for my birthday...

1 boracay (ok, so this is not actually 'tangible', but i wanna go back there! bora misses me already! hehe!)
2 pentium 4 pc (with the stand and all ha!)
3 my own car (something i nearly had.. :c except that my pop gave it to my sister instead.. :c darn..)
4 AMF equalizer for my squier guitar (exciting!)
5 guitar amplifier (mas exciting!)
6 cd album (maximum capacity ha.)
7 neckband earphones (for my m.t. career)
8 bass slippers (but havaiianas will do!)
9 saisaki buffet (well, this one -- i already got! even better! circles buffet at shang makati! thanks paras!!!)
10 14" tv (just enough for the space i have rexerved for it in my room)
11 one tree hill dvds (meron na ba?)
12 surround speaker for my room (with installation please!)
13 black chuck taylors (maiba lang..)
14 yonex badminton racket (any muscle power series)
15 running shoes (my current pair is about to retire..)
16 basketball shoes (my current pair has long retired!)
17 badminton shoes (never had one.)
18 iPod (shuffle)
19 complete Twisted series of Jessica Zafra ( --big smile-- )
20 Jack Johnson's latest album (in between dreams)
21 american idol greatest soul classics cd (nawala ko ata yun akin.. :c)
22 one tree hill soundtrack (meron na ba nito sa pinas?)
23 mini-vacuum cleaner (for my room)
24 autographed dedication from (at least one of) these people: cynthia alexander, ely buendia, barbie almabis, gary valenciano, john mayer, nuno bettencourt, waymon boone, jack johnson, amy ray and emily saliers, natalie merchant, dave matthews, and yes... usher too!!! hehe! (in my dreams? let's see..)
25 roxy shirt (mababaw din naman ako minsan. hehe.)
26 Weekend (burberry perfume)
27 mountain or road bike (either of the two)
28 sleepcare pillow (daw. meron ata nito sa shang..)

hmmm.. i guess that's it.. for now... hehe.. c'mon you guys!! swipe!

is 'rallying' the 'in' thing nowadays?

2005-07-19T04:09:00.000+13:00

Last week…

On my way to makati, I had to take a couple of detours. Rain, traffic and closed streets are really not a good combination. Closed streets, you ask? Oh yeah. These rallying people are everywhere! I go to scout area, they’re there. I go to quezon ave, they’re there. I go to makati – and they are still freakin’ there!

I am no political person. I don’t care much about religion, how much more in politics? I don’t give a damn about what other people have to say about the government and our country’s situation. (oo, wala talaga akong kwentang mamamayan.) I’m just pissed off with how they want to get their message across. What is wrong with these people? I MEAN – WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?!! The person they wanna oust is designated in malacañang. What the hell are they doing in makati?!!! They just wanna burden the business district, they wanna paralyze the streets, they wanna cause inconvenience to all! Mashadong papansin! As if it’ll help.

I thought traffic in this country couldn’t get any worse. They proved me wrong. And I hate them even more for that.

not-so call center experience

2005-07-12T06:47:00.000+13:00

since wala naman akong trabaho, might as well try ko na din sa call center kahit part-time lang, bago ko ituloy ang talagang binabalak ko sa buhay ko. akala ko maku-culture shock ako sa mga inglisan. i was more of disappointed. ok pa siguro sa mga applicants. pero hindi ko maintindihan ang mga empleyado ng mga kumpanyang ito pag pumapalpak sila. hindi ko matanggap. i expected more from them. pero what the heck. basahin niyo ito. hindi din ako kagalingan magsalita ng ingles, sa totoo lang. pero nagbabaon naman ako ng ingles pag nag-aapply ako. sana yun iba nagbabaon din.

****************************************
receptionist: when was your original skeydule?
ako: excuse me?..
receptionist: when was your original skeydule?
ako: oh.. i was originally scheduled last friday morning... (schedule pala!)
****************************************
interviewer: if i gave you a million dollars, what will you do with it?
applicant: (with so much enthusiasm) i will invest it in the stock market, or any business where it will grow even more! when faced by an opportunity, i'd grab it! (sabay may gri-nab sha sa mid-air. ewan ko ba. langaw ata. may actions pa sha ha. anu daw? sana sakin nalang tinanong yun!)
****************************************
interviewer: how do you deal with angry customers in the restaurant you used to manage?
applicant: i joke with them.
ako: (smile.)
****************************************
applicant: ... and i love to play bolleyvall.
ako: (so do i.. so do i..)
****************************************
exam proctor: ... just press the back bootun.
ako: (blank face.. sabay tingin sa computer..) oh.. back button..
****************************************
interviewer: it says in your resume that in your previous job, you were a receptionist and a CSR (customer service representative)? how is this so?
applicant: i worked as a full-time receptionist and a part-time CSR. i worked as a part-time CSR for the extra income.. blah.. blah.. blah..
interviewer: and it also says here that you gave out medicine and applied first aid when needed?
applicant: yes ma'm. i was also a part-time nurse there.
ako: (hija.. registered ka ba?!)
****************************************
..habang pinapakinig ako ng actual call..
agent: ma'm, could you please tell me when did you received your last refund?
ako: (sumalubong kilay sabay tingin sa account manager at hr personnel na katabi ko. sa loob-loob ko lang... "did you trainED this person properly?!)
****************************************

wala lang. mejo surprised lang ako. revelations during my not-so call center experience.

i had a 10pm interview one time. nakakaloka diba?

IS THERE AN EASY WAY OUT?

2005-07-02T10:53:00.000+13:00

i am deeply touched by people who texted and called me when they heard of my resignation. thank you, thank you, thank you! sometimes i feel like i owe an explanation to these people. but then, the reasons behind my resignation would be better left said to close friends, rather than letting the world know.

at this point i just wanna share a few thoughts.

see, we all go through difficulties in life. and it's a choice whether you wanna stay in there or leave that situation. after leaving the company, i thought.. 'whew.. that wasn't easy..' (fyi, it was one year in the making..) which led me to asking -- IS THERE AN EASY WAY OUT? out of something uncomfortable, something you don't wanna do, out of sh*t?

i say no. i think there's never an easy way out. life's hard. how can anything be easy? sometimes there's even the ONLY way out, but never an easy way out. one may even come out bruised and wounded, but even so, the fact that she was able to leave something behind (say, work that one can't take anymore) takes so much courage. one should be proud of that. i am proud of that.

this is my second time to resign from work. and that doesn't make it any easier. i left some friends behind.. on the lighter side, i can easily run away from the two inaanaks that i have earned. (that's one inaanak for every year of service!) hehe. joke.. but seriously -- i will definitely miss you guys. basta lahat kayo. you know who you are. (sorry, but i was never good at enumerations.) you're one of the reasons why leaving was never easy. you sure made my stay there fun. but i just had to leave. i hope those brilliant people in there will soon do the same. (once again, you know who you are.. hehehe..)

some found it a stupid move, considering i do not have another work to transfer to yet. but hey, that's not their problem anymore. (i would like to remind them that's that's my problem na. hehe!) i just wanted to get out of that company. now that i am, i shall take life from here.

cheers to the good times!

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD

2005-07-01T08:55:00.000+13:00

i've said this over and over again.

i am blessed with wonderful people in my life.

i have a wonderful family.
i have wonderful friends.
which make my world a wonderful one.

some loser who wanna destroy the wonderful relationships i have with these people could just roll over and die...

.. as i drink coffee every morning celebrating ...

WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD!

WHAT'S YOUR SIGN?

2005-06-18T03:17:00.000+13:00

i just had this "catching-up date" with paras. (we do that once in a while to catch-up on kwentos and stuff.. samakatuwid.. tsismisan.) it was as interesting as usual, but a topic in one of our conversations led me into wondering (again) if astrology really does matter.. i mean the stars and the moon and the planets.. how they affect who you are and how they can predict your future.

it's not that i don't believe in such. i actually am into listening to people talking about signs and personalities of people based on astrology. this is because i can agree or disagree with what i hear, based on my own observation of people.

so what have i realized? nothing much. (wow.. napaka-interesting ko talaga magblog.. grabe. hehe.) i mean, it's all the same. some are true, some are not. the exact match of people i know and their personalities based on astrology may prove that astrology is, in fact, true. but it can also be just coincidence. inconsistencies will always be there, but as paras said, there maybe an evolution involved. like, when you were originally born as a taurus, but somehow you have 'evolved' into being a gemini.

evolution?! well, our conversation went to as far as that because paras knows some real stuff in astrology. he recommended the future minders to me. it's a site about those stuff. i checked it out and it's pretty interesting. i was expecting the recurring notion about leos that we are proud, ego-centric and self-centered people. (okay. so there's no denying. the more we deny, the more it shows.. hehe..) and there were quite some surprises.. but again, as i always say about astrology, there will always be exact hits (sapul. tipong ikay na ikaw!), and there will always be inconsistencies.

here's one thing about me i found in that site that i agree with.. (soooo much.. hehe..)

You have an abundance of creative ideas and do not enjoy a job in which you have no creative input or voice in decision-making.

it seems.
hehe.

the inconsistencies? nah, they are for me to keep. after all.. i do not fully believe in astrology. i cannot design my life based on a few words that even the most experienced astrologer wrote on a piece of paper. this is my life. i get to make MY desicions based on MY instincts. i do not only believe in the stars and the moon and the planets.. i also believe in God.. who has, in some paper, written the journey of my life only He can edit and read.

come on philhealth people. check out the future minders. i know you have lots of time to waste. hehe.

NUNO BETTENCOURT!!

2005-06-12T03:55:00.000+13:00

you may think that washburn and yupangco maybe crazy to give a free concert of NUNO BETTENCOURT AND THE NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE in manila. and boy, am i glad they are crazy!!!

yes. yes. nuno was here. june 9, 2005. it was supposed to be a guitar clinic of some sort, but he admitted himself that he 's not into teaching and stuff. the only way he can get his music across is well, to play them. so what i expected to be a clinic was a FREE CONCERT. whooooah! it was a blast. oh i'm tellin' you! an hour of waiting in line outside the yupangco building in jupiter street was worth the wait. another couple of hours standing during the show is -- bliss!

i didn't get the best spot in the house though. see, i was standing behind this camera man who's standing on a monoblock chair. (i was close enough to see the rivermaya guys minus rico blanco though). so i had to bend a little to watch him. this was the best shot i got.

that black thing on the upper right hand corner is the camera man's elbow! darn.

here's a better picture of them. that's nuno bettencourt, 2nd from left. the others are members of the near death experience. just seach their names on the net if you want. nakakatamad na magtype eh. hehe.

baka naman isipin niyo, nuno ako ng nuno dito, hindi niyo naman pala sha kilala.. hehe. he's the former guitarist of extreme. yah, yah. more than words. pero ngayon ang music niya ay rock. super galing mag gitara! charmer pa, he let a woman sit on a chair on the stage kase yun ale pinagsisiksikan yun sarili niya sa maliit na space sa floor in front of the stage. he was kind enough to let a fan jam with him (in get the funk out) and use his guitar pa. he was giving out the picks he's been using. basta basta! nakakatuwa! you should've been there. hehe.

so.. they played gravity, monkey paw, midnight express and get the funk out, to name a few. i had to leave before the last two songs kase i had somewhere else to go to.. pero i heard he played the live, full band version of more than words.

nuno said their album's release here in the philippines is already under negotiation. hopefully he could also perform in a real concert here din soon. so ayun. there were rockers, long-haired guys with goaties around me. nakakatuwa yun gabing yun. thanks for my brother, he was the one who registered my name in yupangco.

hay. NUNO BETTENCOURT! MARRY ME!!!!

should love be a problem?

2005-06-03T21:13:00.000+13:00

a close friend is in the brink of a break-up from a two-year relationship. (brink, as in, away.. bati.. away.. bati.. magkakaayusan sa telepono.. tapos away na naman! bati! but they both know it just wouldn't work! hehe.) well, this friend is devastated. big time.

anyway, when she confides in me, she keeps telling me that she can't go through all these alone. she needs people who will always stay with her and help her move on. i said, "gurl, there are more important things we all should be thinking about. you can't expect someone to be with you 24/7 just because of that. you better start thinking you should help yourself. that's your first step, to begin with."

was i rude? well, maybe i should have chosen my words, but i stand by what i said. in this lifetime, there are more problems to be dealt with. a hell of a lot more. love should not be one of them.

aside from being a tough girl, i have been branded by friends as the happiest single person in this planet to date. surely, it's been years since my 'bf' (or boypren-boyprenan, if i may say) disappeared. well, okay. sometime, he still crosses my mind. i just wonder if he's still missing, probably even dead. who cares?! it only took me days to move on and i am still here -- alive and kickin'.. and rockin'! bitter? yes. but to dwell on that? hell nawww.

love to me is like corn and carrots. it's just a side dish. i don't need it. i don't need a significant other. i don't need someone to worship me. and most of all, i don't need sex. if love is there, then it's there. if it's not, then it's not. if it used to be there, then realize that now, it's not there! napaka-simpleng bagay.

love should be good for you. if that's no longer the case, then give it up. love should not be a problem.

take it from me.

i'm a retired hopeless romantic.

AKALAIN MO YUN?

2005-05-30T01:31:00.000+13:00

philhealth kapamilya cup'05 badminton champions (women's doubles, advanced category). akalain mo yun?

one of the best things that happened to me this summer. maybe even the only one. but what a way to end this season. some good things are just around the corner after all.

salamat sa sponsors.. ftd.. rsl.. joy maligat.. barbeque.. nestle calcium plus.. (akalain mo yun?) at higit sa lahat -- maraming salamat sa tiwala, makulay -- este macolor kong kaibigang daday.

at ang galing galing mo!

DILEMMA

2005-05-23T05:48:00.000+13:00

last saturday was the beginning of the end of my post-graduate plans. i took the exams with very low confidence level. perhaps, none at all.

go ahead. laugh at me. this may have been the biggest waste of time and money i have ever done in my life by far. but i guess i have learned from my mistakes. i should have pushed myself a little more. i was given weeks to prepare for this sh*t, but i did it overnight. hey, it's hard to do something you really are not comfortable with. nevertheless, i took it with all efforts. i am known for always giving my best, for putting up a good fight. i took it with the best i had.

the results will be given this week. if i do not make the cut, it's perfectly fine. it just means it wasn't meant for me. if i make it, i am faced with the dilemma whether to enrol or not. (pero sabi nga ni paras, it's better to be faced by such a dilemma than having wasted my time.) whatever. it's not something to be bothered about at this time. right now, i just feel so free having completed the workshop. a huge weight has been removed from my shoulders. there are more things to think about now. it's another monday morning.

MINSAN MAY ISANG KAIBIGAN..

2005-05-16T02:53:00.000+13:00

Ok naman kami noon. Hindi ko alam kung anong nangyari nitong mga nakaraang buwan at hinayaan nyang hindi kami mashadong magkasundo ng trip ngayon. Siguro hinayaan ko din kasi.

Malawak ang isipan ko pagdating sa ganitong bagay. Maaaring magbago ang isang tao. sa masmabuti. Sa masmasama. Minsan, wala dito sa dalawa. Dala lang ng alon ng buhay, nagbabago tayong lahat. Kailangang makisama sa ibang tao, kailangang makibagay sa ginagalawan nating mundo. Minsan, kailangan lang din talaga.

Hindi na ako bata. Naiintindihan ko lahat ng ito. Mejo nakaka-disappoint lang siguro. Mejo matagal na din nang nangyayari ang pagbabagong ito sa buhay ko. sa buhay niya. At sa buhay naming lahat na magkakaibigan. Kinaya naman. Ang sa akin, kung saan masaya ang isang kaibigan – susuportahan ko siya. Hindi ko kailanman binalak na maging hadlang sa isang bagay na ikasa-saya niya. Madalas yan marinig sa akin ng mga kaibigan ko – “kung saan ka masaya, masaya din ako.”

Kaya nga hindi ko na din ineexpect na bumalik lahat sa dati. Pero siguro naman walang masama kung paminsan minsan magkita-kita, pagkwentuhan at pagtawanan ang mga sarili. Paminsan lang naman. Kahit hindi minsan sa isang buwan. Kahit minsan lang sa isang semester. Ano ba naman yun diba? Nakaka-miss lang. namimiss niya kaya ako? Ang buong tropa?

Minsan naiisip ko, ayaw lang talaga magpakita sa akin nung kaibigan kong yun. Bakit kamo? Maaaring nararamdaman na din niyang nagbago na din ako. hindi na kase ako nagtetext kung hindi importante. Nakakasawa din naman magtext sa taong hindi sumasagot. So wag na lang diba? Hindi ko binabato lahat sa kanya. Ako mismo, inaamin ko, nagbago na din.

Minsan may isa akong kaibigan. Pero sana hindi dito nagtatapos ang kwento kong ito. Sana bukas, sa makalawa, sa mga susunod na buwan, magkaron siya ng oras at makipagtawanan ulit sa amin. Yun tipong labas lahat ng bituka namin sa kakatawa. Kahit minsan lang.

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY?!

2005-05-08T03:43:00.000+13:00

we are all but humans. at some point, we all get tired. just as i am now.

you see, all i ever wanted was a fairly good life. i am no extravagant person. but then, as they say, "there is no such thing as a free lunch." we all have to work to get what we need, moreso, what we want.

work, in this context, doesn't only mean getting compensated. aside form my day job (wherein i work ten hours a day, by the way), i've been attending this evening review classses. imagine being at the office as early as 6:30am to be able to get off by 5:30pm. then going straight to diliman to catch my 6-9pm class. whew. that's basically my life right now. been doing that for 3 weeks, and there's another 2 weeks to complete. although i am not getting compensated for this review class i actually paid for, i still see it as work. it's an investment of time, money and daymn effort for future use. it'll get me a better paying (and more stable!! hehe!) job in the future. you can't blame me for calling these review classes 'work' because after all, it's all about it!! it'll make that piece of document longer and apparently more substantial. what do you call that again? oh.. resumẻ..

with this kind o f schedule, i had to give up some things. i hadn't made any new arrangements for my guitar student, who prefers saturday afternoon for our lessons. (i still have saturday review classes..) my evening runs are totally non-existent. i haven't seen an episode of one tree hill in months. i am an unreliable back up player in this billiard tournament i joined. i try to squeeze some of my social life in, and with the friends that i have, it's still pretty much intact. right now, i just meet someone for coffee becuase i need to borrow a book from him/ her.

i haven't even practiced badminton with daday yet for our upcoming tournament. and people around me keep saying that we are the team to beat? think again. daday maybe the person to beat. but with me, i guess it's a totally different story. hehe.

my band also has suffered with my choices. we have gotten so many contacts for auditions, but my schedule wouldn't allow such. well, at least not for another 2 weeks. but even with no gigs, we have to meet at least once a week. we still have to practice individually and as a group. it's like keeping a well-oiled machine working. meeting up without preparing for a gig is really no problem with my bandmates. (i am blessed with wonderful people in my life.) we just love to play. but then, as soon as my review classes and my stupid 10-hour work sked are through, we will definitely get a gig. after all, what we do is also an extra source of income. and at the end of the day -- it's still work..

if there's one thing i don't consider as work, it's this blogging thing. it's my virtual shock absorber. very few people read some of my posts. i know it's not as interesting as one can be. but hey, this is about the blogger, not the blogs anyways. (beingmelay nga eh!) i am not here to promote world peace or make this world a better place. that requires even more work to be done. no thanks.

work. work. work.. nakakapagod. i suddenly remember a line from one of my favorite books -- LIVE A BALANCED LIFE -- learn some, think some, draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work everyday some. which leads me to grab a bag of chips and a can of soda on my way home, and go straight to our couch in front of the tv set. i've been working hard lately. it's time to relax...

SOMETHING TO DO

2005-04-20T03:28:00.000+13:00

My friend gnet called me one time at the office. She said she just wanted to disturb me because she has nothing else to do.

Melay: well listen to edie brickel’s wheel and practice it with the kahon (she’s our band’s percussionist, by the way)
Gnet: done that already.
Melay: read a book.
Gnet: I’ve read every book in the house.
Melay: well, read them again!
Gnet: duh.
Melay: if I was in your situation, I’d sleep.
Gnet: I can’t sleep at this time of day.
Melay: how about you think of something to do yourself? In that way, you are actually doing something already rather than calling me in the middle of my work and expecting me to accommodate you?

Kidding. I didn’t tell that last line to her. Haha. She’s a really good friend you know.

I wasn’t really upset that she called. I guess what I felt was more of envy. I was envious of the fact that she can’t think of anything to do. That is something that I haven’t done in a million years.

Later that day an officemate told me she hated our 4-work day schedule. I asked her why and she told me, “Wala akong magawa sa bahay.” My eyes dropped like a puppy yearning for that piece of meat that my master just threw in the trashcan.

Daymn.. I couldn’t believe hearing these from people... i wish one day i'd be able to say those words too.

as for now.. gotta go.. still got something to do..

NOT SO ORDINARY

2005-04-13T00:48:00.000+13:00

It’s funny how some of my friends are so enthusiastic in hooking me up with other single guys in town. Ok, well, I have to admit that some even hook me up with their friends who already have girlfriends. They apparently don’t like the current girlfriend of their friend so they wanna set me up with their friend. No, I’m not speaking as if I’m this hot girl to get the hottest bachelors around. We all know I am no Cindy Kurleto or Amanda Griffin to be linked to such guys.

Come to think of it. I am everything that an ordinary guy would NOT see himself on a date with. I aint got that long and silky black hair, that flawless white skin and that oozingly sexy body. And doing that stuck out annoying pinky finger every time one reaches for something? Oh puh-lease. That’s totally not me.

But despite that, eager friends rather leave me with the question “who do I wanna date?”. (Thank you friends. Hehe.)

My latest prospect was actually a nice guy. (well, I believe all of them are -- in the beginning..) he was everything that an ordinary girl would see herself on a date with. The thing is – I am not your normal, ordinary girl. I cannot possibly see myself dating someone who sings “HAVING YOU NEAR ME” (AirSupply) and “STILL” (Lionel Richie) in a ktv bar. I do not have anything against those who do, though. Heck, this is a free country! But singing those while hitting on me? Not a good idea.

Which leads me ask another question. What is a good idea to me? what is a good, fun, clean date for a not so ordinary girl like me? nothing specific, i guess. when all that is planned suddenly turn out not the way they were supposed to be.. when the totally unexpected comes out from the expected.. (for as long as nobody gets hurt ha! hehe.. ) breaking through the traditional dating scenario will always make a date interesting. Anything that is not so ordinary always makes a lasting effect. (hay. i would love to site a few kaya lang baka maging bargain na ang dates ko.. hehe.)

ayun. another pointless point. oh, and that "having you near me/still" guy? he's not a blogger so my not so ordinary ass is pretty safe. hehe.

sarcastically yours ... BOOGSH!

2005-04-05T00:41:00.000+13:00

i do not have a personal digicam.

i do not even have a knack for photography.

all i have is a phone camera on hand and lots of sarcasm.

FRATERNITY THING

2005-04-01T03:25:00.000+13:00

A few days ago, a friend told me that should anything happen to him in the next days, it’ll definitely be the doing of Fraternity X..

My God naman. May ganyan pa pala hanggang ngayon.

I will never understand what these fraternities are for. Never.

Giving it a chance, I reached for my dictionary and it said that ‘fraternity’ is a noun that means ‘the state or quality of being brothers; fraternal relationship or spirit; brotherliness’. It is ‘a group of men (or, sometimes, men and women; sorority for women) joined together by common interests, for fellowship, etc.; specif., a Greek-letter college organization’. It is ‘a group of people with the same beliefs, interests, work, etc.’

Sure, I was briefed by this friend since he started this whole thing. So-called brothers in a fraternity help each other. Borrowing of books, notes, even leakages. A fraternity provides one a sense of belonging. Your ‘brothers’ can even get you out of trouble. You could even get a job if the boss or the owner of a company is your ‘brad’ (or is that brood? Whatever.).

But ONLY if you pass their initiation. You know, when they blindfold you and shout in your face and hit you with a paddle at the back of your thighs (if you’re lucky). Oh, that paddle. How can I forget? I’ve held a real one myself. 2 feet long, 8 inches wide and 2 inches thick. Yeah. Brotherhood. Hah.

Thanks but no thanks. I finished school without having a sorority. I never lacked sense of belonging from my family and friends. And I can very well get a job without a backer. Para saan nga ba ang fraternity? Para sa mga dependent sa ibang tao at walang bilib sa sarili?

O sige. Common interests daw. Camaraderie. Peace. Goodwill. Yes, I still do believe that there are groups who thrive on these matters. And of course, there are still some who have twisted beliefs on the essence of a fraternity. And for as long as there are such groups, this whole fraternity thing will not make sense to me. These twisted beliefs can always harm innocent people. Whether or not they belong to the same group. And even if they do not belong to any group at all.

Come to think of it, if fraternities never existed, then these twisted beliefs on fraternities would have never existed too. There would be no abuse of power. No dispute for dominance. No dead body wrapped in a blanket, floating along Pasig River.

What is brotherhood for if you either defend or fight each other for all the wrong reasons? Tell me.

I never believed in fraternities. For me, a fraternity will always defeat its own purpose. Please don't feel offended if you belong to a fraternity. I would gladly welcome all defenses, rebuttals, explanations, comments, thoughts or violent reactions on what I just said. Help me expand my view of this fraternity thing. Until such time that I do, I guess all I have to do is pray for my friend’s safety.

Please pray for him too. thanks.

SIMON

2005-03-27T22:10:00.000+13:00

meet simon.
(named after simon cowell)

he's the pet of my 3-year old niece, rocio.
he's 11 months old and about 3 1/2 feet long.
such a cutie..
it was a beauty watching him eat that poor chick.
the chick was a cutie, too.
but then...
there's this thing called food chain.
tsk.. tsk..

HAPPY EASTER

2005-03-27T21:08:00.000+13:00

para lang magkaron ng update ..

binabati ko kayong lahat ng happy easter!

hahaha..

TEACHER MELAY?!

2005-03-08T22:48:00.000+12:00

Did you just read 'teacher melay'?!

Doesn’t sound so good to me. I don’t know. I was just not born to teach. They say having the ability to teach is a gift. Well what can I say? I don’t have that gift. Could it be in not finding the right words when it comes to explanation? Maybe. All I know is that for some reason I just don’t have a thing for teaching.

Back in my student days, I would participate in board exercises in class for extra points. But ask me explain my solution? I can’t. In basketball, I can make a thousand lay-ups for you. even reverse ones. But ask me to teach that to you? I can’t. I can do a bank shot in billiards. But ask me to teach that to you? I can’t. I can go wild with my guitar. But ask me to teach that to you? I can’t.

But you know what’s the latest news? I am now officially a guitar instructor.

I couldn’t believe it myself! I had my first ever tutoring last Saturday. This anti-teaching thing almost ate me alive. A few hours before the appointment I texted my student. “abi, tuloy ba tayo ng 1pm?” I was still hoping that, you know, their family might have other plans and cancel our session. Until the time I was actually pressing their doorbell, I was still hesitant. I think it was all crazy. I didn’t know where to start. I’m afraid I might not be patient enough for this kid who wanted me to teach her play the guitar. She was a Colonel’s daughter, another thing that I’m really not comfortable with. I might get shot when I unintentionally get hard on her while doing her drills. Hehe! She was also a 7th grader in poveda kaya mejo inglis-inglisan kami dun.

But you know what? It wasn’t so bad at all. After a full hour, I was able to teach her some exercises, how to tune the guitar manually, how to read tablatures, how to differentiate a major chord from a minor chord just by listening, how to create a chord without looking at the chord chart and that famous kitchie nadal song. (I am not a fan. Just wanted to make that clear.) The strumming part was a headache, but we’ll get over that in no time.

As for now, I wanna make sure she learns everything she needs to. My way! Kidding! Hehe. I mean, I wanna make sure that my services are worth every peso that her parents are paying me for.

And lastly –
I’ll make her fall in love with the guitar the way I did.

I aint teacher melay for nothing.

BULLETIN BOARD

2005-03-08T22:41:00.000+12:00

Last friday, I was walking through the 18th floor to get water from the dispenser outside our room. I stopped to take a look at the bulletin board. This colorful print-out caught my attention. However, it said “Lenten Retreat”. My interest had gone away even faster than the colors caught my attention. Out of curiosity, I looked underneath it. and there was something I didn’t want to see.

Race results.
“this couldn’t be..”, I told myself.
Do you mean that that was already there for the longest time and I didn’t know?!
Waahh!

In whatever race the company sponsored, they never asked for race results from the organizers. More so, post it on the bulletin boards.
But of all the times to do it.. aaargh... why now?
Why THIS race?!
I didn’t even make a blog about it even though days before the race itself, there were already stuff goin’ on in my head. “ah. I’ll write about the race. This. That. And blah blah blah...” It’s been almost a year since I last joined a fun run so I was very excited about it. but I wasn’t satisfied with the results so I didn’t feel like sharing the experience to everybody on the net.

But right now, I write to redeem myself.

First and foremost, the 2005 DZMM “Takbo Para sa Kalikasan” was my worst run ever. (Well, ok, second to the worst, among all my races. The worst was my first ever duathlon where I was in the verge of giving up. Eh duathlon naman yun .. in fairness..) So why was it my worst race? Straight to the point now. I had this ‘girl thing’ the day before. Dude, it was very unfortunate. Very unexpected. And very disappointing. In effect, from the beginning of the race, I had to keep my pace slow. Even walk almost half the race. I had to let others overtake me. I was helpless.

Nevertheless, I finished the race.
But with my worst time record of a 10-kilometer run posted on the office bulletin boards. Damn bulletin boards. Kakahiya. Wala lang. defensive. Hehe.
Buti na lang may Lenten Retreat. Hehe.

OUT OF CONTROL KIDS

2005-02-27T06:03:00.000+12:00

"it's their house. we just pay the bills.", a couple says, referring to their 4-year old twin boys. i saw this oprah episode about kids going out of control. outrageous tantrums were caught on tape. as in. i saw this 5-year old boy literally dragging his younger brother. and this 3-yer old girl kicking her own father. and those screams.. jeez.. they almost drove me nuts! no wonder i was never fond of kids!

well, of course eventually i will have children of my own. but definitely it's not in the near future. i don't think i have enough patience to deal with kids yet. i mean.. just watching those videos made me wanna turn them into a soccer ball and you-know-what's-next! hehe! hay. hay.. kids. kids. kids.

one time, i had to baby sit for my 3-year old niece rocio camille. the moment we were left alone in the house, i closed my eyes, bowed my head and whispered, "lord.. help me." hehehe.. in fairness, she doesn't easily get out of control like most kids do. i wanna share this latest story about rocio camille..

her "other side" lola was giving her a sermon for doing something naughty..

lola: we will not feed you! we willl buy happy meal and we won't give you any!
rocio camille: (calmly) so what?

weehoo! way to go! atta girl! that's my niece! 3 years old. unbelievable. i think her "other side" lola was the one out of control at this time. haha. rocio camille was very much in control of the situation here! haha..

anyways.. for those people who missed that oprah episode and do need help for their out of control children, this book called "super nanny" may be of help. Jo Frost, the british author, was one of the oprah's guests and her methods seemed to work on those out of control kids who were featured in the show. i just don't know if it's already available here in the philippines. but what the heck? if it's still not out in the market, you can always close your eyes, bow you head and whisper.. "lord.. help me.."

trust me. it helps. hehe..

LOVE BONUS

2005-02-17T21:25:00.000+12:00

love seat.
love notes.
love boat.
love booth.
love birds.
love child.
love fool.
love shack.
love sick.
love life.
love story.
love team.
love quote.
love virus.

but love bonus?

i would love to believe that there was such a thing.. but the name -- dude.. it didn't even appeal to me.

not at all.

CHEESY

2005-02-14T23:34:00.000+12:00

sing to the tune of 'let's get retarded a.k.a. let's get it started' by the black eyed peas ..

"LET'S GET ALL CHEESY YEAH.. LET'S GET ALL CHEESY YEAH..LET'S GET ALL CHEESY YEAH.."

okay. okay. this blog is very predictable. fine. but i can't help it. hehe. i mean c'mon. it's valentine's day. i just wanted to share some thoughts on this thing called love. some may even wonder if i ever had some -- knowing that i have been single on most part of my life. yes, i am a star-crossed lover. but i am still -- a lover.

care for extra cheese?

knowing that i am a fear factor contestant wannabe, a friend once asked me: "do you have any fear on anything at all?" of course i do. they are only two things though:
1 i am afraid of my pop (in tagalog: takot ako sa tatay ko. lalo na po pag galit sha. hehe.) and
2 i am afraid of falling in love again.

more cheese, please...

"i am afraid of falling in love again." i guess when we get hurt we all say that. but that does not necessarily mean that we do not want to fall in love again. it's just that we tend to be very careful on the next steps that we take. we become more cautious.. thinking that we have so much to give and that it should be given to someone deserving. but you know what? we'll never know who's deserving and who's not. that's the beauty of it all. taking that plunge without knowing what's underneath the waters. in this case -- we are just afraid to take the plunge. but the good side of it is -- we are on the edge of that diving board. we are not on ground level. we are on that diving board. admittedly afraid of jumping off. with knees shaking. but still believing that after taking the plunge -- it'll all be fine soon. we are afraid. but we still believe.

am i getting across here? my friend kase was confused when i explained that to her. she told me: "first you tell me that you are afraid of being in love. now you're telling me that you still believe in love. ano ba talaga?"

i answered: "we can't be afraid of something we don't believe in."

don't you think so?

wala lang. just something to think about. and partly in response to those who think that when i say 'i am afraid', ibig sabihin 'ayoko na'. hello?.. that doesn't follow noh. hehe.

happy valentine's day to all!

how about ending this with a song too? sing again to the tune of 'let's get retarded a.k.a. let's get it started' by the black eyed peas ..

"LET'S GET ALL CHEESY YEAH.. LET'S GET ALL CHEESY YEAH..LET'S GET ALL CHEESY YEAH.."

HELL WEEK

2005-02-07T21:00:00.000+12:00

Today marks the start of my hell week. I am cramming for this entrance exam on Sunday. I have cancelled my band practices this week to review for that. However, I will still play in our gig on Friday night and Saturday morning. (Yes, a gig on a Saturday morning – that’s right.)

Then there’s this philhealth anniversary celebration on February 12-14 (Saturday to Monday) at the fort. While I begged off from joining the production number of our sector, a while ago I was just asked to play for an office band on Saturday afternoon. Just last week someone asked me to standby because I might play for the Sunday band. Ok. Now I am confused. What the heck.. anything for playing.

Anyways, it’s pinugu’s birthday on the 12th. And I’m going out with my highschool friends that night to celebrate it here – while she is in the states. Hehe. we’ll call her nalang there. There’s even this birthday party of another friend in paliparan, cavite that same night where, of course, it is practically impossible for me to attend since I have an exam the following morning. After the exam I will still be going to the philhealth anniversary in the afternoon so I would be entitled for a compensatory time-off from the office.

Come February 14, valentine’s day – we are all mandated to attend this last day of celebration of philhealth’s anniversary. I have this buy one take one coupon from my starbucks planner and I thought of sharing it with glenn in market! market! branch. Valentine’s day. Sit over coffee with a very good friend. For a change.
Plans for that night? I dunno. My band is looking for a gig but I think it’s too late to get booked at this time. If we don’t get a gig, I’ll probably do something I have been longing to.. kiss and hug that someone I miss so much.. that someone I haven’t spent enough time with.. and sleep with him in my room..

I miss my two-foot elmo.
I miss having a good rest with him in my arms.
I guess there’s nothing better than that. For me, that’s the best way to cap my hell week.

DRAMACHINE

2005-02-04T14:40:00.000+12:00

Yan ang title ng second album ng sugarfree. Nakakatuwa. Whoever came up with that word is a genius. hehe..

Dramachine.

I love that word. Ü

Uso lang ba ang drama ngayon kaya yun ang naisip nilang title o talagang nakakarelate lang talaga ako? Palagay ko nasa punto lang talga ako ng buhay ng isang tao na puno ng drama. Kung hindi man, pilit na nilalagyan ko lang ng drama ang buhay. Hindi ko alam.

Napapaligiran din kasi ako ng mga ma-dramang tao. Nang mauso ang blogsites, natuwa akong makita ang writer at softer sides ng iba kong mga kaibigan. Sa totoo lang ang nag-trigger din sa akin na magsulat ng ganitong article ay yung blog ni dadaydamakulay na The Sweetest ang pamagat. Nung minsan naisip ko na ding sumulat ng ganito kase napansin ko, kung sino pa yung mga kaibigan kong lalaki, sila pa tong dinaig ako sa drama! Tulad ni coulrophobic clown. sira ulo tong taong to kung kilala mo siya. Bibo. Mahirit. Maingay. Makulit. Nakakatawa. Clown – na takot sa clown. (pareho kame. Hehe!) kung mababaw ang pagkakakilala mo sa kanya hindi mo aakalaing siya ang nagmamay-ari ng blogsite na yun. Lalo naman si malikhaing pagsasablay. susmaryosep. siya ang pinaka-madramang lalaking nakilala ko sa talambuhay ko. promise. Siya ang aking dramachine. Pag nasa mood din akong magdrama, papakinggan ko lang siya. Paulit ulit kong sinasabi sa kanya na hindi ko kailangan ng token para paandarin ang human dramachine na ito. (token, hindi. Beer, oo! Hehe) Madramang nakakatuwa. At masmarami pa akong mga kaibigan na wala mang oras gumawa ng blogsites, pero napakaraming oras pa rin para magdrama. Ganun lang talaga siguro ang tao.

Uso lang ba ang drama ngayon o talagang nasa punto ako ng buhay na yun na ma-drama talaga? May theory ako eh. May panahon talagang ganito. Mid-20’s crisis ang tawag ko sa kanya. Nararamdaman ng yuppies na naghahanap na ng kabuluhan sa buhay. Masmadalas ang pagtanong ng ‘bakit?’. Nagtatrabaho. Kumikita ng pera. Pa-upgrade up-grade ng cellphone. Palaro-laro ng badminton o kaya pa-jog jog kuno pa sa gabi. At the end of the day, the mid-20’s crisis creeps up your system.. and suddenly you realize that you’re just an empty branded shoebox. Then what?

Wala.

Magse-set ka lang ng alarm for the next day kase may pasok ulit.

Dramachine na ito.

Kung tutuusin... kung titignan mo sa malayo.. kung titignan mo ng kabuuan.. kung titignan mo sa normal na paningin ng isang tao.. hindi madrama ang buhay ko. pero sa mga mata ko, I need to work on so many things in my life. I have my own battles to fight. Ang matindi dun, battles from within sila. Hindi ko alam kung sino ang gusto ko. hindi ko alam kung anong gusto kong mangyari sa buhay ko. hindi ako handa sa mga unfortunate events na maaaring mangyari at naiinis ako dahil wala akong ginagawang paghahanda.

Hay. Tama na nga. Ayoko nang ituloy patong dramachine effect ko. baka hindi mo kayanin. Hehe.

AMERICAN IDOL 4

2005-01-20T03:18:00.000+12:00

i just saw the the first episode of american idol season 4.

it was hilarious. if you missed it, i feel sad for you. this part of the show is the best one to see to be honest.

why?

it's a stress reliever. major! if you really wanna have a good laugh, you should never miss the ai auditions! haha! i remember how william hung drove me nuts with just laughing.

it's not that i love making fun of people without talent. but you know, i myself wouldn't have the guts to audition in a show like that. with those kind of judges? nah. not that i have talent. i am not a good singer and i know that. i mean, those contestants... those not-so-talented wannabes who 'wanna-be'.. i can't find the words to describe them.. whatever the judges think and say about them -- be it good or bad -- well, i think they asked for it by showing up and doing their 'stuff'. haha. some things are better off hidden, i guess. hehe. but at the same time, american idol would not be that big of a show if it weren't for people like them. really. it wouldn't be the same. at all. and having said that this is the best part of the show to watch, it's all because of them.

hands up!!! hats off!!!

by the way, this guy from a rock and roll band in new york.. constantine? he's a cutie. he got through but i don't expect he'll be staying that long in the competition so you gals better catch him while he's still in the show!

MUSIKERA

2005-01-19T02:42:00.000+12:00

I’ve been playing in a band since 14. at 17, we’ve thought of auditioning in bars but then the members enrolled in different universities and it was impossible for us to push through, considering the adjustment we all have to undergo through entering college. Since then, using my hands I can count the times I have performed with a band in public. I played the guitar for a couple of class outings. I played drums for a friend’s debut party. And again played the guitar for the College of Science week when I was a senior.

It stopped there. I pushed my dream of being a rockstar aside. Upon graduation, I already belonged to the corporate world.

Or so I thought.

A year and a half later I got this text from a friend who needed a female lead guitarist for CHIMERA, an all-female alternative rock band. And from then on, my musical side was revived with unusual fervor. I would stay up until the wee hours of the morning just practicing scaling and finger speed. At some point though, we had to end chimera. Weeks after, I got a call from CACTUS KLANK, this time an all-female funk band. But I chose to play for CITRUS MARBLE, a reggae-punk-rock band, instead because I already knew the band members. (although I wish I could have checked out cactus klank first...) On the side I have played session for VALKYRIE, an all-female gothic metal band. And just a couple of weeks back, a friend asked me if I can play session for another all-female alternative band. Of course I said yes (session lang naman eh.hehe.) kahit na I’m committed right now to 3AM ONWARDS, another all-female band. This time we play acoustic mainstream. (see how versatile of a musikera I am? Hehe.)

When 3am onwards got this regular gig at a bar in tomas morato, my friends were like, “wow! Ang yaman mo na!”

People think I get to earn a lot from doing gigs. I do not. I repeat – I do not. There are bars with big budgets. There are bars with tight budgets. There are even bars with no budget at all. So on the average, what I earn from doing gigs is just right. Just right for grabbing coffee on the way home, or playing billiards or drinking with my guests right after a gig or buying a 24/7 call card. Sometimes I set some of it aside so that I can buy a new shirt, sneakers or guitar strings. And you thought it was easy making money out of music? That’s what you all think. Pero kung tutuusin, talo pa kami sa pagod. So why the hell do you think I’m still doing it?

Simply for the love if it baby.

For the freakin’ love of it.

Ang musikera, walang pera. But passion, not money, gets a musikera going. An album is not a requirement for a musikera to be labeled as a true blue musician. A musikera is not synonymous to fame and fortune. (but a successful one is! Hehe!)

As for me, I just want to play while I still can, with no pressure that I have to be this and that a number of years from now. After all, in this scene, you also have to be at the right place at the right time to get a break. Oh, I would love to sing and play my own songs and hear them over the radio! But if I don’t get to be in that position, it’ll still be all good.

Regardless...
I am proud to be a musikera.

PS: yesterday, I got to have a chat with Rada! I even shook her hand! Kakilala niya kase yun kabanda ko. Rada is sooo cool and makulet! Burn-babeh-burn!! stig!!!

MY BUDDY PINUGU

2005-01-13T01:34:00.000+12:00

I was never good at holding back tears. This morning at the airport, around 4am, I bid goodbye to my very good friend pinugu. she's going to work in the states na kase. Her mom told lanee and I not to cry or else the one who’ll start the crying will have to treat the family to McDonalds. And these are the rare times that I admit instant defeat. naiyak talaga ako.

Bakit?
Love na love ko yun si pinugu. super tight kame nun.. I’m talking about over ten years here ah. Well, technically we witnessed each other grow up kase we were batchmates since kindergarten. Then it was just in high school that we have gotten really tight. And I don’t want to further talk about time here kase mabubuking ang age namen. Hehe.

I don’t know how we became close in the first place. She’s the tahimik type of student in class. Ako yun tipong maingay at magulo. nung nalaman kong team captain sha ng chess team ng batch namen, ako pa mismo naghamon sa kanya ng one-on-one. Pikon na pikon ako when she repeatedly beat me tapos sasabihin ko na lang, “tara, ligpit na natin to. dun nalang tayo sa tambayan!” Hehe.

Isa sa malupit na experience namin nito ni pinugu was when we were usherettes for the world youth ‘week’ in our school. super pa-cute lang kame sa mga foreign delegates. hehe! We were even in Luneta during the world youth day itself. Grabe yun. Ilang centimeters lang si Pope nun sa paningin namin dahil sa layo namin.

Every Saturdays punta lang kameng galleria or megamall. Tapos ang hilig naming magpa-photo me. minsan with our other kadings. Look.

Hahaha!!!! Bungisngis days!!! and papanget namen!! Look how far (and beautiful) we have grown! hehe!

ayun. Parati kaming updated sa love life ng isa’t isa kahit gaano naging busy and mga buhay namen when we started working. she worked as a nurse pala sa polymedic. my dad was once confined there due to appendicitis. and she took very good care of him then. eto tignan niyo yun kuha namen with lanee.. mukha kameng mga pasyente sa mental hospital.

by the way -- that's inside polymedic's recovery room and that's my dad on the background!! hehe!!

ayun.. so..

i'll be posting pictures from her despedida in the next few days. my mind doesn't seem to work right now.

i'm super sleepy na from airport to work and all...

kanta ko nga pala kay pinugu... KANDILA by Sugarfree..

Sana malaman mong magkailaw man madilim pa rin kung wala ka....

RESOLUTION LIST

2005-01-05T01:10:00.000+12:00

I have refrained myself from making long New Year’s Resolution lists because they make me realize how naughty i have been. I also realize how hopeless I am since the ‘not doable’ things are always waaaay more than the ‘doable’ things.

Thus, my resolution list for 2005 is short. And I have made it a point that the ‘not doable’ things have the same number of ‘doable’ things. You ask what’s the use of listing down ‘not doable’ things when I am very much aware that they are not doable in the first place? Well at least through the list I can be constantly reminded that they are just ‘apparently-not-doable– but-very-doable’ things. Labo ko ba? Hehe.

1. I will try not to be late during Mondays anymore. Wish me luck with the 7a-4p work schedule adjustment. Hehe. thank God, it’ll only be til January 6. Try lang muna ha. Hehe.
2. I will carry out my diet. You see, I eat like a man and I’m starting to look like one because of my physique. Yyyyyyyuck! So I better do something before I get called ‘sir’ in a restaurant!
3. I will exercise at least twice a week. this is in connection with my losing weight. By doing so, I will also improve my immune system. Something I badly need right now, having cough and colds as I write.
4. I will refrain from going out on a weekday. If not for band practice, I might as well stay home.
5. I will attend Sunday mass as often as I can. And I will stop watching other people fall asleep during mass.
6. I will limit my monthly cellphone bill to only P800 a month.

So which are the ‘doable’ ones and the ‘not-doable’ ones? Hhmm.. Secret!!! Hehe.

SANA MAY PAGBABAGO

2005-01-02T03:49:00.000+12:00

Bagong taon na!

unang bagong taon namin na hindi kame nagpaputok. usually kase sa mall lang kame bumibili. pero nung december 2003, sa friend ko. eh nung 2004 (kala mo naman napakatagal na ng 2004! hehe!) mejo late na ako nakipag-negotiate sa friend ko kaya hindi na nai-deliver sa bahay. gumising ako ng earlier than the usual nung december 31 para sabihin sa tatay ko na bibili na lang ako ng paputok sa megamall. sabi niya wag na lang daw.

hmm. kakaiba. na-weirduhan ako. ngayon lang kase talaga kame hindi nagkaron ng paputok sa talambuhay ko. actually hindi sila mga paputok. mga serenity fountains ek-ek. mga lumilipad sa ere tas puputok tas makulay sha and all. basta mga ganun. mejo nanibago nga ako eh. pero naisip ko. "wow. bago 'to. wala kameng paputok. baka may bago ding mangyayare sakin ngayong 2005."

duh. tama bang i-relate ko ang buhay ko sa paputok?

wala lang. bagong taon eh. sana marami ding pagbabago sa buhay ko. ang drama ba? hindi naman. hehe. wala ngang drama ang buhay ko eh. hehe! sana magbago na din ako! hehe! hindi lang ako. pati buhay nating lahat. pati ang buong pilipinas. naks. hehe.

bagong taon na! sana may pagbabago!

excited na ako!

ON RELATIONSHIPS

2004-12-29T19:40:00.000+12:00

Relationships are bonds that tie us to people. Whether you like it or not, we need them. As a matter of fact, as soon as we were born, we already have them. Our relationship with our parents and siblings. As we grow, we seek to maintain good relationships with our schoolmates, officemates, friends and of course, with a loved one.

I thought of how I handled my relationships with different people in my life. That of those who are dearly close to me and who are not at all directly related to my existence in this world. Modesty aside, I have kept many of them intact. With my family, friends, officemates, even with guards and janitors. In terms of how good I am when it comes to keeping good relationships, I am even better when ditching insincere relationships. I guess I have a good nose for shams. And relationships with such are definitely not for me.

I must say though, that if there was one category that would keep me away from that ‘Relationship Guru’ title, it’s the relationship with a significant other. I always fail in that department! Hehe! It’s always a would be but not quite. A friend even labeled me as a star-crossed lover! And another gave me Joshua Harris’ books called “I kissed Dating Good-bye” and "Boy Meets Girl". hmmm..

On a lighter note...

Yesterday, my day ended with the season ender of Sex and the City. And I’d like to end this blog by quoting what Carrie said in the last part:

“Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the YOU you love, well, that's just fabulous.”

NOT A TRAIN PERSON

2004-12-28T16:52:00.000+12:00

There was a time when I was with a friend waiting for the next MRT train. The train arrived and it was jampacked. We weren’t able to get in. and I was not surprised. While waiting for the train, out of the blue, I told my friend, “ You know what?! I am really not a train person.” She looked at me in response to one of my usual non-sense thoughts.

Truly, madly and deeply. I hate the LRT. I hate the MRT. From the MRT-1 to MRT-i-don’t-know-and-who-gives-a-damn. And I don’t care how many electric trains are up for construction. I will hate them just the same.

Take the MRT along Edsa as an example. It has one of a kind elevators. Oh yeah. So one of a kind, they are the only elevators in the whole of Metro Manila that make me dizzy. Very poor ventilation. Doors that can cut a person’s limb off, and let the victim worry of tetanus afterwards. Sudden rise, drops and stops. You might need to wear helmets, elbow and knee pads to get out of them bruise-free.

Ok. Well then. Take the escalator, right? But not all stations have escalators. So take the stairs right? Do you have a choice? I don’t think so. Taking the stairs is actually a good exercise. Not always though. Are you familiar with the staircase in Shaw Boulevard terminal. Shangri-La side? Now that is not a good exercise for the oldies and the obese. Not even for healthy yuppies who are running late for work. Going up that staircase is not easy under time-pressure and mandurukot-pressure. And you don’t wanna be all sweaty even before entering your office right?

Then you have to wait for averagely two trains before you can hop in one. Only to realize that the airconditioning in the cart you got in doesn’t work. And it’s super jampacked. It’s so jampacked you can smell what the person in front of you ate during his last meal. It’s so jampacked you can smell who weren’t able to dry their blouse/polo under the sun. It’s so jampacked you can see guys who have a pimple on their scalps on the nape area. It’s so jamapcked you can feel each other’s body. And body parts. Private body parts. Eeeoow. In fairness to the LRT, they have a female section. Why don’t they do that in the MRT?

Oh well.

So unless it’s really, really, really needed, I would rather take the bus or cab, thank you. I would gladly be stuck in traffic. But very much comfortable in my seat.

But that day, due to unavoidable circumstances, I had to take the train. The much awaited train arrives and my friend tells me that we get in it. The door slides open. Then I do my before-getting-in-the-train ritual. Look. Breathe. Hope. Thank. And pray.

I look for a spot to squeeze myself in. I breathe deeply. I hope I don’t get in contact with a guy’s thingy. I thank God for blessing me with small breasts. And I pray that my next train ride will not be soon.

SCROOGED

2004-12-23T13:04:00.000+12:00

December 23 na. akalain mo yun.

Naisip ko lang. diba bukod sa character si Ebenezer scrooge sa isang nobela, ang term na scrooged pwede mong gamiting adjective? Pag scrooged ka, walang ni isang kusing ng diwa ng pasko sa dugo mo. At hindi lang yun, ang tingin mo sa mga taong may Christmas spirit, over-acting.

Minsan naiisip ko ako. Ako ba? Scrooged ata ako. Hindi naman ako galit sa pasko at sa nire-represent nito. Nagsimula ako at nagtapos sa catholic schools. Ako mismo merong Christmas list at wish list. inisip ko din magsimbang gabi, although wala akong balak kumpletuhin. Pero other than that, wala lang.

pasko na.

and?! ...

Wala.

Pero paiba-iba din. Minsan, panahon din ng pasko tapos nagkataong in love ako nun. Nakakatawa. Tinext ko ba naman yun mga kaibigan ko nun ng . . .

“Ngayon ko lang na-appreciate ang Christmas lights at mga parol. Ang gaganda nila.”

Duh. Nakakatawa lang talaga! Feel na feel ko ang pasko nun. Galante ako nun sa mga nangangaroling. Mabait ako nun sa mga kaibigan ko. bukas loob akong nagbibigay ng pamasko sa mga claiming na inaanak ko na dun ko lang naman talaga nakita sa talambuhay ko. at nakangiti lang ako pag nagtetext.

Pero ngayong season na ‘to, hindi ganun. Parang normal na panahon lang para sa akin. hindi ako masaya pero at the same time, hindi rin naman ako malungkot. Hindi kaya ito ang resulta ng pagkaka-bato ko as buhay?

Hindi ako immorally scrooged, unintentionally scrooged lang.

meron ba nun? ewan ko. kumabaga sa queer eye for the straight guy.. ang mine-make over nila ay mga ‘unintentionally scary guys’. Sa ganung context ang pagiging ‘unintentionally scrooged‘ ko.

Pilit ko lang siguro binibigyan ng rationalization ang behavior ko. o in defense of myself na lang din siguro. Kase I’m not bitter about anyone or anything for that matter. Pero at the same time I am not elated with the christmas spirit.

So ano ako? Scrooged ba talaga ako?

Siguro.

Unintentionally.

TAGALOG NA LANG PLS!

2004-12-16T18:52:00.000+12:00

i came across these friendster profiles. which reminded me -- hindi krimen ang mag-tagalog. minsan kailangan nating magtagalog na lang to spare our dignity -- or whatever's left of it in this case.

sorry guys. i can't help it.

i'm evil. i know.

OUT OF BOREDOM

2004-12-13T16:13:00.000+12:00

I don’t wanna think that my life is boring.

i have work to pre-occupy me with during day time. I have lots of friends to hang out with in the evening. Sometimes, I’m in a date. Otherwise, I’m out running or playing badminton or in my band practice. Should I choose to stay home, I am always thankful for primetime television. Sometimes I even exercise in front of the tv. If I don’t feel like watching, I can just lock myself up in my room and sound trip. If that bores me still, I can just grab my guitar or sit by the piano and play. I am not very fond of the telephone, to be honest. So if nothing keeps up with my interest, I can just open a book and read myself to sleep. On weekends, if I am not out of town, I’m out on a gig, partying in a makati bar or sleeping over a friend's place.

I don’t wanna think that my life is boring. . .

But it is. . .

Maybe I am just a boring person myself. . .

3AM

2004-12-08T02:52:00.000+12:00

3 Amateur Musicians
3 Aspiring Musicians

… as the band wagon of acoustic wave continues, 3 promising musically inclined women take a dip on what seems to be the language of the yuppies, the teens and as well as the oldies. Having genres varying from rnb to alternative, to OPM classics and pop, 3AM is sure to capture the hearts of people from all walks of life.

Definitely..

3 Amazing Musicians to watch out for!

MAH HS FWENDS!

2004-12-03T23:34:00.000+12:00

Starting today, whenever I feel lonely, I will just look at these pictures.

Mala- ‘where’s waldo?’ ang dating. I had to put our names beside our faces so Karen will be identified. Hehe. But instead of asking ‘where’s Karen?’, the ultimate question should be “WHERE’S JENG?!?”. Jeng magparamdam ka! Hihi.

There you go. Much better. Or is it? haha. I love these guys!

mga magnanakaw! don't mess with me

2004-12-03T23:14:00.000+12:00

Last wednesday morning, my brother caught this robbery in the making. A guy was actually making a hole from our dirty kitchen wall. He must have started doing that a few days ago, and a couple of days more would have given him an entry to our house. Yesterday, he probably thought there was nobody home so he started working on it again. But my brother heard this thumping from the back of our house and there, was a man’s hand, in and out of the whole. He grabbed a steel pipe, hit the hand as hard as he could and wham! Then he said, “Balik ka ha?” Poor guy, my brother works out regularly and receiving that power, probably even thrice his regular blow since he was raging mad, must have been really traumatic for the guy. The guy retreated with only but a moan.

I was shocked upon hearing the story from my mom. But what I actually find disturbing is that a stranger tried to break-in our house. That alone made me feel uncomfortable. The fact that somebody tried to enter our house in that manner really bothers me. I didn’t even sleep well the past nights just because of that! Losing some stuff at home wasn’t really my main concern. To begin with, he’s just wasting his efforts because he won’t be getting much from our house.

I mean, hello?! What does he want? An old computer set? A defective vcd player? Eh component na plaka, gusto niya? We have a couple of defective 21-inch tvs too. I would have given those to him freely if he wanted them. I am begging my mom to get rid of those bulky stuff anyway. Kesa nagpapakahirap sha jan magbutas ng pader. Duh!

But then again, I was thinking.. what if he was able to successfully dig that hole without our knowing? Fine, he can get all those stuff that I mentioned. I don’t really care. but what if he enters my room?

Oh no. my room.

If he lays one finger on ...

my two-foot elmo
my cd collection
my vanity set
my jelly eye mask
my violet lamb-decorated pajamas
my shoes
my guitars
my paintings

--- I swear I will kill him.

But if he touches my family.. I’m a psycho.. I will make his life miserable. I promise that would be worse than being dead. Hah!

As for now, he should consider the blow up a fortunate event for him. He better think twice about showing up again.

MY GIG IN BILIBID

2004-11-26T02:55:00.000+12:00

yes. the new bilibid prison in muntinlupa city.

we were invited to play for ex-congresman jalosjos' birthday last wednesday. u think i'm crazy?

i am.

People know that I am this very adventurous person. Whatever’s weird, whenever it’s totally uncalled for and wherever it’s risky – you’ll find me there. That’s why I never had any second thoughts in doing this gig. Then I learned that my bandmates and another friend (who played as our manager, hehe) were just as adventurous. So last Wednesday at around 1pm my band, 3AM, head on to bilibid.

Upon parking, eloi briefed us not to bring cellphones and digicams. Just whatever we need for the gig and IDs. Before entering the bilbid community (yes, it does look just like a village inside), we were body searched twice. And I have never seen our guitars and k-hon searched by the inch! As we entered the gate that actually led us to the bilibid community itself, all eyes were on us. Four girls with two guitars and a k-hon. A number of them rushed to open their umbrellas and escort us to the place where the party was held. Man.. it was approximately a 200-meter walk. On a rocky road. At around 230pm. Inside the bilibid prison. For a time, I just wanted to laugh my heart out for doing such a thing, but then I realized that my escort must have gotten in there because he stabbed someone or raped his daughter or ate his victim’s brains.. So I behaved, like a queen. Reserved but at the same time, I was projecting that i had power. I had that “screw-with-me-and-I’ll-make-you-sorry-you-were-born” look. Haha. Tapang noh? Nasa bilibid pa ako nyan! Hehe..

In the venue, we played in front of the ex-congressman, his wife, mother, children, and other close family members. Nancy castilogne was there. If you ever heard the news about her break-up with paolo contis because of a politician’s son, well, it’s true. Mr. Jalosjos’ son and nancy are an item. I was wondering how Hubert webb looked like in person, but darn, he wasn’t there.

Bob Teehankee, was there though. And among the guests, he was the one we interacted with most. He was very cheerful and talkative. We would talk about the band, the schools we graduated from, and different diet programs. He even joined us in eating when we finished playing and everybody was gone. He offered us to taste his drink. A mixture of 7-up and fundador. Eloi tasted it. I was hesitant at first (I hate brandys!), but he insisted that I taste it. Do your research about his case. And you’ll know why I eventually said yes to him even though I really didn’t wanna drink. Hehe.

Generally, it was fun. Really. while eating, may taga-bugaw pa kame ng food. o diba. astig? hehe. when we were headed to the exit, that was the time when i felt not so awkward anymore. while walking, i noticed there were basketball and volleyball courts inside. a hospital. a chapel. a billiard hall even. tapos ganun din, this guy-escort-convict was insisting to help me with my guitar. shempre pumayag na din ako. hehe.

on our way home nga, i was like "shocks, nasa labas na ako. nakaka-sad. sa loob para akong diyosa." hehe..

And I guess you were wondering how much we were paid for playing for an hour in bilibid prison for ex-congressman Jalosjos’ birthday..?

Let me put it his way: the price was right.

BATO-BATO SA LANGIT (R-18)

2004-11-18T16:44:00.000+12:00

Kagabe nagpunta kame sa handaan ni Karen tangkad. (happy birthday cuzinlo!!!). tapos bago kumain napag-usapan namin yun mga description sa mga tao. so eto.

First up. HIPON. tapon ulo, kain katawan. Una ko ‘tong narinig, grabe, naaisip ko napaka-rude talaga ng dating pag sinabihan ka nito. nabigla talaga ako. Pero at least daw, may kinain naman. Pero hindi ko pa rin inakalang may ganitong colloquial term. Actually, hindi nga sha colloquial saken e. a few months ago ko nga lang nalaman ‘to eh.

Akalain niyo, meron pa palang dalawa pang terms bukod sa hipon? Pero not as rude naman na.

CRAB. On the outside, nakakatakot ang crab. Kumbaga hindi pleasing ang physical pero pag binuksan mo, masarap sa loob. “Maganda daw ang kalooban”, as my friend put it. (haha. Natawa ako sa delivery niya.) masnatawa sila sa aken kase sabe ko, “baket?! Kase ulo lang ang kinakain?!” ooops.. hehe.. sorry! R-18!

CHICKEN. Pleasing ang labas, lahat ng parts kinakain. Legs, wings, ulo, pati laman loob. Sabi ng friend ko “sagad to the bones”. Wala ka daw maaangal. Akala ko naman dahil iba-ibang luto ang pwede.. hehe.. R-18 sabi eh!

So ayun. Bago kame umupo, may turbo broiled chicken at crispy pata sa dining table. Tinuro ng friend ko yun chicken, “gaya niyan. SAGAD TO THE BONES!” with a naughty smile on her face. E napatingin ako sa crispy pata.

Tinanong ko sha, “Sige nga. Eh ano ang CRISPY PATA?”

Sagot sha, “hindi ko alam. ano?”

Sabi ko, “ang crispy pata kase very deceiving. Masarap tignan. Masarap kainin. But it’s BAD FOR YOU.”

At lahat sila tumingin saken with a look na ‘hay.... there she goes again....’

Bato-bato sa langit, ang tamaan wag magalit...

The New Medical City

2004-11-17T13:47:00.000+12:00

I had the privilege to have a ‘tour’ at the New Medical City in Ortigas Avenue a couple of weeks back. I was just about to have coffee at their Starbucks (oh yes, they have their own Starbucks outside the lobby!!!), when my intern friend asked me if I would like to check out the building. Needless to say, the place was really .. very .. impressive. It only started operating last June (i think) and was inaugurated during the last week of October.

Highlights:

Outside. There’s a huge fountain. On the left of the fountain is a 24-hour pharmacy, a 24-hour convenience store and the starbucks I was talking about which closes at 12mn. A little far ahead is The Plaza, a restaurant from which I heard has a bit pricey menu, but there are value meals din to choose from. daw ah.

Escalators and elevators. And a separate elevator for patient’s use only. stig.

The over-all ambience. The atmosphere along corridors was not eerie, unlike most hospital corridors are. It was definitely light.

The Chapel. This I wasn’t able to enter because it was already closed (it was already 10:45pm), but I still found solace just looking at the place from outside. The back of the pews were made of glass. Whoa.. Ganda. as in.

The Food court. Yes, food court. We finally have the option not to eat hospital food! Hallelujah!!! There’s Max’s, Binalot, Pizza Hut, Big Chill, Subway and I don’t remember the rest. I was overwhelmed eh. Hehe..

The 15th floor. Being in the top floor was fascinating. Although I could see the Ortigas area from my office window, the site from the New Medical City was even better. It covers the Ortigas area, Pasig area, from Rosario to Cainta to the hills of Antipolo. Aliw!

Nice people. To top it all, the hospital personnel were really friendly and courteous! From the guards to the interns, residences to the doctors.

Oops! Why do I seem to promote the place? As if it’s like a gimmikan ah.. hehe.. wala lang. Share ko lang yun first actual hospital tour ko. ikaw, you like? Just text me for bookings. Haha. Kidding.

I DON’T WANNA BE YOUR FRIEND

2004-11-16T03:20:00.000+12:00

I don’t wanna see your face
I don’t wanna hear your name
Don’t want a thing
Just stay away baby

Don’t wanna know if you’re alright
Or what you’re doing with your life
Don’t wanna hear that you’ll stay in touch maybe
I’ll get by just fine
So if you’re going darling
Goodbye, goodbye

Don’t call me in the middle of the night no more
Don’t expect me to be there
Don’t think that it’ll be the way it was before
I’m not over you yet
Don’t think I care
And I don’t wanna be your friend
I’ll forget we ever met
I’ll forget I ever let
Ever let you into this heart of mine baby
You just gotta let me be
Gotta keep away from me
Cause all I wanna be is just free of you baby
Don’t you come around
And say you still care about me
Go now, go now

You’re taking it casually
And that’s what’s killing me
I’ll get by just fine
So when you’re going then, goodbye, goodbye

tama na yan! inuman na!

2004-11-14T23:47:00.000+12:00

exact location: SLACKER'S LAB, P. Campa Street, Manila. karlo on my left. paras on my right.
time: 7:50pm

after another sunday of badminton.

now everybody's bloggin'...

bumili na sila david ng gin. o yeah. gin. my gulay. good luck sa lahat.

ayaw naman daw ni aldwin uminom. pati si paras. so baka makalusot ako. hehe..

the last time we had an inuman session here, paras and i just sat in front of the computers and browsed on friendster pages.. haha..

at ngayon mukhang hindi na namin magagawa yun.. haha.. buking na ang style sa pagtakas sa inom..

tinatawag na kame ni gio... sabi ni david punta na kami dun at magbonding sessio. si meldonne ayun, as usual tahimik..

ayan na. tama na daw.

hoy paras! tama na yan. inuman na.

I DON'T KNOW

2004-11-11T16:28:00.000+12:00

“I don’t know”. I probably say these words around 50 times a day. 50% of the time, I really don’t know the answer. Then, the other 50% of which I’m just pretending not to know the answer. It’s either I didn’t hear the question pretty well and I don’t care much to ask for pardon, or I don’t wanna say much because I’m still savoring the food that I am chewing. And sometimes I just find the question simply ... stupid.

These are some questions that leave me with no choice but answer “I don’t know.” Answer them for yourselves. Come on. Let’s waste some of your precious little time. Hihi...

how’s (name of your ex)?
What do you want for Christmas?
what do you think of genetic engineering?
when are you getting married?
Do you think he can pick us up later?
what’s the latest on (a telenovela)?
why are you gaining weight?
Who opened the door when we were out?
what’s a taxi in tagalog?
what are your plans tonight?
does bush deserve the presidency?
How come you lost with a 12-5 score? – ehem, daday? Pakisagot. Hehe.

And lastly – I’m sorry, but this is best written in tagalong:
“Ano ang masmakati? An-an o buni?” – courtesy of glenn. Hehe.

Jeez. This blog is getting nowhere, don’t you think so? Hmm. How would I end something like this? I don’t know.

Do you?

DETOXIFICATION

2004-11-09T16:15:00.000+12:00

May mga bagay tayo na gustong tapusin pero ‘di magawa. Mga taong gustong kalimutan pero ‘di magawa. Mga alaalang gustong burahin pero ‘di magawa. mga pagkakamaling gustong ituwid pero ‘di magawa. mga nakaraang gustong ibaon pero ‘di magawa.

Marahil ay lahat ng tao, sa isang bahagi ng kanilang buhay ay nakakaranas ng ganito. Nasa huli ang pagsisisi, ika nga nila. Kaya lang may mga bagay din talagang nanjan na. wala na tayong magagawa. Kahit bumaliktad ang mundo na maging shorts ang sinusuot na pang-itaas at t-shirt ang isinusuot na pambaba. Hindi mo pa rin mababago ang nangyari na. ang dali sana ng buhay kung ganun-ganun lang diba? Eh hinde. Hindi mo na pwedeng baguhin ang nakaraan, pero pwede mong isantabi sa pinakasulok ng iyong isipan. Kung saan hindi ka na mabubulabog nito at pwede mo nang harapin ang bawat araw nang wala ito. Naks! Ipagpalagay na natin na ang ating isipan ay isang bodega. Kumbaga sa bodega, sa pinakasulok at pinakamaalikabok mo ilagay itong mga bagay gusto mo nang isantabi sa buhay mo. Gaya ng mga bagay na nasa bodega, na hindi natin maitapon ang mga ito dahil na sa kanya-kanyang personal na rason. Ganyan din ang nakaraan. Hindi ito tinatapon. Isinasantabi lang.

Paano? Napakagandang tanong. Para maisantabi ang mga hindi kanais-nais na bagay sa ating buhay, maging sa nakaraan at kasalukuyan, tayo ay kinakailangang sumailalim sa isang DETOXIFICATION. Sa tagalog – hindi ko po alam. Basta ito ang proseso ng pagtanggal ng mga hindi kanais-nais (toxins o lason) sa ating buhay. Ilan lamang sa mga detox method ay ang inyong mababasa. (hindi po mahalaga ang pagkakasunod-sunod.)

1 tumakbo sa barkada – wag tumakbo ng umiiyak. Tumakbo at magyaya ng gimik. Inuman, videoke, bilyar, darts, tambay, food trip o tamang kulitan lang.
2 wag mo sha tawagan, wag mo sha i-text – burahin lahat ng details niya sa phonebook mo at lahat ng pictures niyo sa phone mo. At wag mo isulat sa papel! No cheating!
3 wag mo sha pansinin – wag pansinin ang mga text niya, ang mga lambing na hindi mo usually matanggihan, at wag mo pansinin ang mga titig niya pag aksidente kayong nagkita! Delikado. Baka Mahulog ka lang ulit.
4 mag-tune in sa NU 107 - panigurado akong wala kayong theme song na ipapatugtog doon!
5 magtapon ng mga bagay na bigay niya – tanggalin sa pananaw ang kahit na anong magpapaalala sa kanya!
6 mag-shopping – bumili ng bagong damit para sa susunod na detoxification tip..
7 makipag-date sa iba – korek. Kaya kelangan mong mag-shopping. Makipag-date sa iba. Hindi na ata kelangan ng explanation nito.
8 dvd/movie marathon – humiga sa couch na para kang reyna, maglabas ng malaking bag ng potato chips at biggie iced tea. At mag-feeling reyna ka. Ayos!
9 burahin ang friendster account mo – nakakapanghinayang ang friends na nahanap mo dito, lalo nay ung mga long lost and found pero ganun talaga. Pinakamabuti ang wala kayon koneksyon, maski sa friendster!
10 i-libre ang mga magulang mo ng dinner – nakaka-relieve ang makikitang ngiti mula sa kanila. At least sila proud sayo!
11 magpaka-athletic – magswimming, mag-wall climbing, magjogging, magbasketball, magbadminton, magvolleyball, etc. mamamawala na sa isip mo, papayat ka pa. pwede ding magtaebo, magboogie at mag-cha-cha!
12 wag daanin sa sobrang kain, sobrang yosi at sobrang inom – lalo ka lang made-depress. Malaki na eyebags mo, ubos baga mo, malaki pa tiyan mo. Wag ganun.

13 mag-out-of-town – ang magical escape from the city. Isama ang barkada (uuyy.. madaming nagkakadevelopan sa mga out-of-town!) o kaya umuwi sa probinsya mag-isa nang makapag-isip, makalanghap ng preskong hangin, at makakain ng sariwang karne at gulay. ganun!

Sure ball ang detoxification tips na ito. Tested. Proven. Hindi mo mamamalayan, ayos ka na. pagkatapos mo ng detox ay lumabas ka na sa bodega, magpagpag ng kamay at magliwaliw. Masarap mabuhay ng walang humahadlang sa gusto mong puntahan. KAHIT DI MO ALAM KUNG SAN KA PAPUNTA! Tara na, biyahe tayo! and intoxicate yourself with someone else! Ü

Before Sunset Review

2004-11-04T21:19:00.000+12:00

"Linklater gives his characters something we rarely get in real life: an opportunity to resolve the sense of loss and regret created by a blown chance at love and happiness." - John Beifuss, COMMERCIAL APPEAL (on Before Sunset)

I’ve heard extremely different comments about this movie. Some say it was a good one to see, while others didn’t even bother to finish it. But these really didn’t matter to me because I was planning to watch it since day one. Why? Three reasons.

1 I love Ethan Hawke

2 I liked Before Sunrise

3 I love good conversations.

First and foremost, I think everybody likes (if not loves) Ethan Hawke ever since he starred opposite Winona Ryder in Reality Bites. Second, you actually don’t need to have seen Before Sunrise to understand Before Sunset. The two can very well stand apart, both equally enthralling. But I guess the sequel is more interesting maybe because the characters have grown wiser and more mature. Lastly, my third reason is very vital. Before Sunset is far from the formula-based plot. I can’t even figure out its plot! To appreciate the movie though, you have to be a fan of good conversations. I mean, you just have to!

You see, it’s a talkathon where the art of conversation is fully put into a movie. You just have to keep up and pay attention to the film. The flow of the conversations can be really fast though. Sometimes before you can even absorb the last sharp line from Celine (Julie Delpy), Jesse (Ethan Hawke) would easily come up with a line with just as much, or even more, impact. The dialogues are full of richness. Very real, witty, and revealing. They glorify the minuscule things in life, love and relationships that actually matter most. There was no melodramatic punch lines, action-packed scenes, more so end-of-your-seats ending. (Sorry guys, but there's no erotic love scenes here either.) Just the poignant and honest conversations are enough to bring about excitement and interest in the film.

Tips:

1 Watch it with people who can appreciate good conversations as much as you do, the ones whom you can engage into good conversations with. Realistic, sensible, witty and lasting conversations on practically anything under the sun.
2 Detach yourself from your cellphone or anything that, you know, can divide your attention from watching. I tell you, you don’t wanna miss those well-delivered lines.
3 after the movie, talk about your favorite catchy one-liners over coffee and realize how they hit you in different ways. They are good topics to exchange ideas about.

* Recommended for people who want to see both something different and something more from a movie. *

For more, check out PDI's review on their website, Entertainment Section dated November 2, 2004 (yata). my link to it doesn't seem to work pa eh.

venom is the anti-venom

2004-11-02T16:24:00.000+12:00

Sometimes our head aches not because we need an upgrade of eyeglasses. Sometimes our tummy aches not because we ate something that our stomach wants to reject. Sometimes these are just symptoms of severe stress. You know, that “it’s-all-in-the-mind” thing or as others would call it, psychological pain.

In such cases, are you aware that some doctors actually prescribe a pill called Placebo? Placebos may be water pills, sugar pills or starch pills. It results to the placebo effect, a response to the act of being treated, not to the treatment itself. The effect generally improves the state of health without any credit to actual medical treatment. Some doctors just want to see if the patient only feels pain caused by the mind.

Amusing. Psychological cure for something psychologically inflicted.

I mean, come on. Admit it. You get a headache when thinking of how to settle your credit card bills, so you take biogesic or you sleep. But the truth is, what can really take away that headache is cash, because lack of it caused it in the first place.

You see, we often tend to resort to escape hatches where in fact the solution (most of the time, only solution) to the problem is right in front us. You should not run away from your fears, just as you should not replace a stick of cigarette for a missed lunch and just as you should not lock yourself up in the room when your heart gets broken. On the other hand, you should cure your sickness with what actually caused it. Venom is the anti-venom.

Just like overcoming your fears requires facing it. Just like food satisfies hunger due to lack of it. Just like love healing a broken heart caused by love itself.

Psychological cure for something psychologically inflicted. Physical cure for something physically inflicted. Emotional cure for something emotionally inflicted.

I guess that’s the fastest way to cure our own diseases. Venom is the anti-venom. It’s basic knowledge as basic math.

Where are your manners girl?

2004-10-28T22:14:00.000+13:00

Do you go staring at other people then suddenly burst into laughter? Do you ever call people by “psst”? Do you go hitting other people for no apparent reason? Do you say rude comments to others as if you were perfect? Do you talk to your friend’s parents as if just talking to your friend? If so, where are your manners girl?!

I HATE people without manners. I mean, don’t you? I can get really deadma to practically everything around me but that. I don’t know if it’s a gift. I think more of it as a curse. It tends to prompt my red button that is typically ice-cold and defective.

I don’t know. I guess I just can’t imagine how insensitive other people can get. Which leads me to ask... is it really their fault? Do they really have something to do about that? Do they do it deliberately? Or sub-consciously? Is it their personal choice to be one? Or genetic perhaps? Is it their parents’ upbringing? Or not having parents even? Is it not having the privilege of going to a good school? Or not having to go to one? You know what? I don’t care.

All I know is that I am not one of them. I may be mean to them but I do it with class. And it’s definitely not making patol ha. I think it’s just good that once in a while someone will remind them, “Hey, you’re in the real world. You might wanna bring your manners with you wherever you go ‘cuz there are more people out there who can get more bitchy than I can. You don’t wanna bump into them unprepared, do ya? Believe me. I’m doing this for you.” haha. ‘course I don’t literally say those words. I do it subtly, but I make sure I convey that message to them. I can’t just say “Where are your manners girl? Have you left them at home?” Man, that would make me one of them and I surely don’t want to be branded as such.

Still, we can’t expect all of them to hear and understand us. There will always be people who know nothing of good conduct. Let them be. After all, the well-mannered are the ones who can understand.

bananarama

2004-10-26T21:51:00.000+13:00

24 HOURS

2004-10-24T18:51:00.000+13:00

~ laoag city ~

don't you think 24 hours in a day seem not enough?

i'm here in laoag, ilocos norte to attend the birthday party of my three-year old niece and have a rest from the fast paced city life. my so-called rest included baby sitting my niece. watching her play and make kulit to everybody made me miss my childhood days. i envy kids who are not aware of time. who don't even know what's eating time and playing time. unlike most of us adults who have to be aware of every little thing -including time- because not being aware of it can blow things up for us. everything has to be scheduled. everything has to be in place. i mean, i can't even leave the house without my watch!

much worse, my hectic daily life seems to make me think -- is 24 hours enough to call it a day?

maintaining an 8 to 5 job. juggling exercise activities after office hours to keep fit, like having evening runs or playing badminton. if not so, doing some groceries. being home by 8pm if it's 'one tree hill' day. sitting over coffee with a long lost friend. going to dinner dates. attending a band practice. reviewing for the gpats. before going to bed, of course i can't miss out on my listening to music and reading anything. it's something i can't get out of my system. i think that's part of my musical and brain feeding.

does that seem simple to you? well, not with three different groups of badminton people. not with so many circle of friends to attend coffee or dinner dates with. not with three bands.

i guess that's why i always look forward to saturday nights. it's the only time i can do things out of schedule. things unplanned. sometimes even things totally uncalled for. saturday nights seem endless for me. no time frame. but then again, not quite.

after weekends are weekdays. that's just the way things are. it's just another 24 hours to deal with. 24 hours to make use of. 24 hours to squeeze everything in. it's funny even finding time to wonder... is 24 hours enough to call it a day?

weeeeehoooo!

2004-10-20T22:22:00.000+13:00

YEAH BABY. YAN ANG RUSH.

KWENTONG TAXI

2004-10-20T21:57:00.000+13:00

hindi ko man po ginusto pero madalas akong magtaxi. Pano, kadalasan may dala akong gitara. Kung hindi naman, badminton bag. Kung hindi naman, malaking laruan para sa pamangkin ko. O kaya’y malaking bag kase maga-out of town kami ng mga kaibigan ko. o kaya’y tinatamad lang talaga ako magcommute.

Shempre bago sumakay, tinitignan ko muna kong ok ang hitsura ni manong driver. Kung masmukha akong sanggano kesa sa kanya (na madalas mangyari), pinapara ko na sha. alam ko mejo delikado, pero ayoko magmaneho ng sariling sasakyan eh. Bukod sa traffic, po-problemahin ko pa ang parking. Chaka taga-mandaluyong po ako. Lahat ng puntahan kong karatig lungsod ay humigit kumulang na isang daan lang ang pasahe. pwede na kung tutuusin. Solo ko ang sasakyan. Solo ko ang upuan. Solo ko ang aircon. At solo ko ang mga kwento ni manong.

seryoso, may mga taxi drivers na nakakatuwang kausap o obserbahan. Kahit man lang sa ganung paraan ay may makausap o makasalamuha akong ordinaryong tao. hindi ko kailangang mag-isip at makipag-debate, pero pagbaba ng taxi ay mapapangiti ako sa mga pinag-usapan. Nakakatanggal ng stress.

Minsan, pumara ako ng taxi. “manong, sa 20th ave po ako, sa cubao.” Hindi ko sinasadyang may kasama pang accent ang 20th ko. “tweny-yeth” ba. Pagkasakay ko sabi sa akin ni manong, “miss, hindi ba hanggang twenty lang yun? Wala atang twenty-eight dun. Saan ka ba?” Ako’y napangiti. Sabi ko nga. “opo, manong. Sa twenty ave.” sa susunod, alam ko na. alam niyo na rin. Twenty ave ha?

Isang gabi pauwi ako galing katipunan. ang daan ko ay yung sa pasikot-sikot sa green meadows na ang labas ay ortigas. Mga sisenta anyos na din ata si manong driver. Sa pasikot-sikot na yun, nag-right signal sha. Tapos hindi na niya maaalalang tanggalin yun pagkaliko namin. Kahit dumederecho na kami. Kahit pa-kaliwa pa kami. Wala shang kamuwang muwang sa tunog ng “tikitik”. E ako naman si sira-ulo, naaaliw sa kanya kaya pinapanood ko lang sha. Kase bukod sa naka-right signal kame buong oras na yun, saksakan pa ng bagal ang takbo namin. Alamo niyo kung bakit? Si lolo driver ay nagtetext. Ka-text ata si lola. Mabagal din ata ang exchange of texts and sweet nothings nila. Pagkalabas ng edsa, dun ko na sha kinausap. “manong, nasa edsa napo tayo. Kung maaari po ay tanggalin na natin yun right signal natin at mamaya na po kayo magtext.” Sabay ngiti sa kanya. Pinatay niya yun signal, tapos ngumiti nalang din sha sa akin.

Yung isang manong driver naman dati, akala ko iiyak sa pagkwento sa akin. Seaman daw sha dati. Nung tinanong ko sha kung bakit hindi nalang niya ipagpatuloy yun pagsi-seaman, sabi niya kailangan daw niyang bantayan ang mga anak niya dito sa manila kaya nagmaneho na lang ng taxi. Nung na- on shore daw kase sha apat na taon ang nakalipas, nanlalake daw ang misis niya. Pinagpalit daw sha sa “demonyong pari”. Sabi ko “manong, malupit talaga ang buhay. Ang importante hinaharap natin ito araw-araw.” Ang masmalupit pala dun ay yun yung paring nagkasal sa kanila. Sabi ko na lang, “Manong, pagkakitaan niyo nalang yang storya niyo. Sumulat ka sa Maala-ala Mo Kaya.”

Minsan naman tinanong ako ni manong driver “kailan ka ikakasal? Yung anak ko kaseng babae ikakasal na. Panget daw yun lalaki, pero may bahay na.” Eh di natawa ako. Ako ba daw ay papayag sa ganun? Sabi ko hindi ko masasabe. Biglang sabi niya, “eh kung may bahay at kamukha ni tom cruise?” sumagot ako, “eh pucha naman manong! Go na go na yun! Bukas na bukas pakakasalan ko yun!” biglang hirit ba naman si manong driver “kahit kasing liit ni dagul?!!” sabay tawa. Hay. Pagtripan ba ang pasahero?!

Pero shempre hindi lahat ng manong drivers mababait at kwela. At hindi din sa lahat ng panahon nasa mood ako makipag-usap. Sa mga ganung panahon, nakatingin lang ako sa bintana, nag-iisip. O nagtetext. O nakikinig sa discman ko. pero sa ngayon, madilim sa labas ng bintana, wala akong maisip, wala akong matext at hindi ko dala ang discman ko. masungit ang manong driver ng nasakyan kong taxi. Kaya sa kahabaan ng edsa, imbes na mabagot, sinulat ko na lang ito.

HOLDING ON

2004-10-18T17:04:00.000+13:00

Don’t you ever wonder about what you are holding on to? Who is this person? Does this person deserve me? or, Is this person really worth the shit I’m going through? Read this through and I hope you realize something. In relationships, you basically hold on to the following:

1 something you have
It’s that someone you simply have. “Mahal kung sa mahal”, so they say. But the fact of the matter is you’re just either tired or scared of looking for the one who could really make you happy. So you just settle with him. Through the years, you’re still with him and you’ve gone through a lot. You are even attached to each other’s families. But you don’t love him. But you hold on to him. Simply because he’s the one you’ve got.

2 something you believe in
It’s that someone who you’ve invested so much feelings for, that you believe someday you will reap the seeds you sow. That no matter how gago he is to you -- you know, always promising he’d change and all – you keep on believing in him. You believe in fate. Destiny. Serendipity. You believe in the relationship that you have built. That whatever obstacle may come into your way, you will hold on to him. Simply because you believe.

3 something you don’t even have
It’s holding on to someone who already has someone else to hold on to. How do you hold on to something you don’t even have? It’s keeping yourself updated about him, checking on him. Hoping that someday his hands are free to hold on to you. It is waiting outside the door so that when he walks out crying, you will be the first thing he sees. If he never comes out from the door, then so be it. That’s the risk you take from choosing to hold on to something you don’t even have.

You know, it’s good enough if you have either one first two.

It’s good enough to hold on to someone who is simply there. Probably, what that kind of a relationship needs is some spice. Probably an out-of-town trip. An experience that would actually explain and, perhaps, justify (?!) that someone’s existence.

It’s also good enough to hold on to something that we believe in. After all, faith blinds all negative thoughts and energies. Faith never assures but it always provides hope. That’s what’s important. Seeing what could be, rather than what could not be.

On the other hand, I tell you to throw a party this weekend if what you’re holding on to now is something that you both HAVE and BELIEVE in. You’re one hell of a lucky human being. (I hate you for that and don’t you ever visit my blogsite again! Joke! Harhar!).

On holding on to something you don’t even have? It’s better holding on to something you don’t even have than be not brave enough not to hold on to anything at all. Keep on dreaming. And on the day you wake up, it’s either you have finally something to hold on to or you better start looking somewhere else.

It’s like learning to ice skate. You are ice skating with him, because he is with you. You learn to skate together. But unless you find some fun in that, all you will do is just skate and skate and skate and skate. Because he is just with you.

Or maybe you are skating with him, but he can’t seem to get it. Say, he’s an artist and knows nothing of physical balance. But you hold him up, support and urge him to do better. Because you believe in him.

Or again, you are just in the same rink. But you keep your distance and observe. You watch him to learn ice skating with another and you wait for what happens next. Should they learn ice skates together and appear to be happy, go find another. They are freakin’ lucky to HAVE each other and BELIEVE in each other. But until such time you notice one of them gets tired and gives up, go and make your move towards him. You’ll never know, she might enjoy ice skating more with somebody else, and him with you.

Holding on keeps you there. Not holding on to anything at all is like floating. It’s skating in thin ice with nobody else around that you could hold on to. So whatever it is you hold on to, hold on a little longer. Because you’ll never know when you will be lucky enough.

U JUDGE

2004-10-12T02:55:00.000+13:00

last saturday, my friends and i were involved in a 3-car accident along quezon avenue. it was minor though, and i don't wanna elaborate on that. major hassle lang. the thing here is, the accident happened in front of a bunch of women who were making tambay on the side of the road. they were about 20-30 women. PIMPS, to be exact.

of course, we couldn't remove the positioning of the cars since we were waiting for the police investigators to arrive. but then, the cars were blocking their sights, or should i say, the cars were blocking them to be seen by potential customers. then these pimps started to shout at us, "tanggalin niyo na kase yan jan. nakakasira kayo ng negosyo!"

unbelievable.

anong negosyo?

good thing i have this gift of keeping my cool. had i been some hot-headed chick, they would have received some really harsh words from me. but i let it pass.

hay. no further comments. u judge.

C I T R U S M A R B L E

2004-10-08T17:44:00.000+13:00

Citrus refers to lustrous foliage or plants native to Southeast Asia. What’s interesting about it is that it is perennially fresh.

A Marble is a metamorphic rock composed of interlocking crystals. It’s hard and heavy, but at the same time, smooth and cool.

The crystals are composed of Niña on vocals, Joie on rhythm guitar/back up vocals, Melay on lead guitar/back up vocals, Paul on bass guitar and Joey on drums.

Lustrous, interesting, fresh, hard, heavy, smooth and cool. That’s how we describe our music. Catch us on our gigs if you want a taste of it. (by the way, we leave the pop and rnb stuff to other bands.)

Oh, and did I say I play with a bunch of good looking people?

i do.

WABY'ALL!

2004-10-07T17:28:00.000+13:00

This may be a bit cheesy, but hey, just want to take this opportunity to thank all of my friends. Life's been a blast because of you! I just feel so blessed having you guys in my life. You guys rock!

Karen, yao, lanee, pinugs, deanna and gavino: I used to say that high school life would have been boring if I didn’t meet you guys. Well you know what? My whole life’s gonna be boring without you guys.
Jo: For the lessons learned the hard way but definitely all worth it. Look at me now.
Glenn: For making me laugh in the office every single day. You make me forget I hate being there!
Em: Despite my teasing (lammo naman lambing lang yun! Hehe!), you never fail to let me feel your ending support in all the crazy things I do.
Paras: Need I list down the things you’ve shared with me? Got time?
Ate: who definitely deserves to be in this list because she’s truly one of my best friends.
Margaux: For the argumentations and debates. Some encouragements and mostly discouragements. Heheh.
Daday: Who was unbelievably patient with me when I asked about blogsites. I wouldn’t have set this up in a few days if it weren’t for her.

Although I didn’t mention all your names it doesn’t mean I love you less! Baka maging melay fansite ito sa kapag inisa-isa ko kayo! Hehe! Thanks to all ya peeps: science women’s basketball team; ust actuarial science batch 2001 (kamote boys, badminton peeps, toma peeps, etc.); tpg officemates; citrus marble and former bandmates; philhealth badminton and drinking buddies; philhealth people; running buddies from axn and other races; the CORE; my out-of-town buddies and their better-halves; to my better-half ==> where and who the hell are you? !

As I always say “WABY’ALL”!

PANIC MODE !!!

2004-10-07T17:19:00.000+13:00

I spent last weekend in Puerto Galera (again). Going back to the pier, people who were sitting on the ferry’s nose were asked to go inside since it wasn’t safe to stay there anymore. It was around 4:00pm, it was raining and the waves were relatively stronger than the usual. Michelle, my panicky friend, suddenly asked me “Melay? Pwede na ba humawak ng life vest?” I answered, “shempre naman”. Smiling and looking away, I remember being in a similar situation a couple of years back. It’s what you are about to read – and more. Hope you realize the things which make you panic in your every day life and I hope they make you panic even more!

There was a time when we were stuck in the waters form Puerto Galera to Batangas Pier. It was around 4:30pm when the fan belt of our ferry broke. Thirty long minutes passed. The huge waves splashing against our ferry made my co-passengers panic. A companion was already talking to his wife on the phone. There was one who was throwing up. Some were praying. And another held on to a life vest as if it was the last. Take note, there were like only 10 of us in the ferry. I mean hello?! There were like 40 extra vests around the vessel! Shaking my head in disbelief, I stood up, sat in the boat’s nose, looked around, hoping to see sharks around us. They say they come out at that particular time.

Here’s another story. On board a flight to Iloilo, the captain announced that we were having a hard time landing because we were experiencing mechanical difficulties. We’ve been flying in circles for quite some time already and a stewardess was leading the rosary over the intercom. Sitting beside me was my supervisor at that time, who looked terrified, considering she was getting married in a couple of months. As I looked through the window, I was thinking, “What a way to die. I hope they find my body if we lose fuel and plunge into the waters.” I was cool though. I find it even funny that at those times, all I was thinking was I should have said yes to that life insurance agent.

Remember the time of Mindanao bombings? Well, at that time I was in this resort in Davao del Norte. The place was not easy to go to. It was like 4-5 hours away from Davao City. We literally drove beside mountains and through forests. It was dark. Our convoy was broken. And there was no cellphone signal. I don’t know how we got to our destination, I actually didn’t care anymore. I slept through the night like a baby. After all, I had to wake up early the next to prepare for a presentation after lunch. I woke up all cuddled up in my bed. Checked on my phone like I usually do, only to realize there was really no signal in the area. It was so remote, there wasn’t even a landline. It was a good thing I forgot all about that when I stepped out of my room. It was the freshest air I’ve ever breathed in a long time. Greens were all around. I can literally touch the foot of the mountain. Oh and the pool! How can I forget the huge bean-shaped pool! I rushed to touch the water, while two of my officemates from there asked how I find the place. I was about to answer them when I saw a soldier walking around the pool. “Ngak!! Ano ba yan! Bat may sundalo dito! Buti nakakaligo kayo ng nanjan yan?!” They answered, “Ano ka ba Ms Melay, maganda nga nanjan yan eh. Bakit ka ba natatakot? Pasalamat nga tayo dito tayo eh. Yun dati ngang pinuntahan mo, maraming Abu Sayyaf e. Dito wala mashado, NPAs lang.” I smiled. Deep inside, “Wow. Salamat ha.” On the other hand, I remembered a friend whose wish was to interview an NPA. It was interesting to know their views and what they really stand for. I ran to the room in excitement to call my friend, but again, only to realize – there was no signal.

I guess that’s just me. I really don’t panic in such situations. I’m a take-it-easy, relaxed, laid back kind of fella. After all, my composure will help loosen up things.

But you know what’s funny? I panic in situations not of those nature. Such as seeing my clock read 7:30am on a weekday. I panic when the BPI ATM system is down on a gimik night. I panic when my cellphone loses battery. I panic when I hear my pop’s voice. I panic when I’m late for a date. I panic when Globe reminds me to settle my dues. I panic when I see my badminton friends at the office lobby in my running attire and on my way to the ultra oval, when I should be playing badminton with them. I panic when I’m in the brink of falling in love. In which cases, after everything that happened, I find myself laughing at who else? Me. Hehe.

Which makes me wonder.. Why the hell do I not panic in life-threatening situations? I guess we all get shaken in different ways. Have you ever wondered in which cases do you panic? Are you like melay who panics in mostly insignificant things but shrugs off grave matters? Or the total opposite – not panicky in everyday life but then easily panicked by a simple air turbulence or sound of a gun fire? Just something to think about and make you smile.

To cap it all, I think it’s just proper that you know how my escapades ended.

The fan belt story? Well, we waited for around ten more minutes when the last trip from pier found us and gave us their extra belt. Oh, and there were no sharks still. Darn.
The Iloilo flight story? Well, our emergency landing in Cebu was successful. We just had to eat lunch in their airport and transfer to another plane.
And the Mindanao story? Can you imagine yourself so helpless with a cellphone unit but with no signal for three days? Jeez. That was hard. In my 3 days stay in Davao del Norte and 2 days stay in Davao City, a bomb exploded in Koronadal City. It was on the news. Months after, the waiting shed in Davao Airport was also bombed. I used to be picked up in that exact shed. Amazing.
Oh, and my panicky friend Michelle? Nope, she didn’t grab a life vest. All she needed was my other discman earphone on her left ear, and jack’s hand on hers.

the scene

2004-10-05T23:19:00.000+13:00

**i wrote this song about a year and a half ago**

you finally broke your silence
to my unanswered calls
you gave me your reasons
you had all the reasons
you left me
with no choice at all..
so you wish me well
and i do the same to you
it's the heavy air
it stops me
from saying everything i want to..

.. and it's rubbing salt in the wound
if i would've asked you to stay ..

i would, if i could
but i can't
'cause you won't let me..
i would, if i could
but i can't
'cause you don't give a damn..

starting tomorrow i'm gonna put you
at the back of my mind
and you won't see me
at your periphery
watching you with somebody else
not me..

.. but i would've stolen the show
if i had just asked you to stay..

i would, if i could
but i can't
'cause you won't let me..
i would, if i could
but i can't
'cause you don't give a damn..

the beach without the sun

2004-10-05T23:14:00.000+13:00

my kind of thing ...

OVER-ANALYZING

2004-10-01T18:36:00.000+13:00

They say too much of anything can be bad. Too much drinking, too much eating, even too much exercise. Too much thinking? I believe so. I’m a person who thinks a lot. I am not claiming to be highly intellectual. I think a lot in the sense that I wonder about a lot of things. I wonder what the ants say when they bump into each other. And that needle-like prick in our hearts when our feelings get hurt? I wonder where that muscle responsible for that pain is located. I wonder when I will die. I wonder why is it so hard to lose weight when gaining is so easy.

Wondering manifests curiosity. A lot of what’s, where’s, when’s and why’s. On the other hand, analysis manifests prudence. A lot of what if’s and how come’s. Over-analysis manifests paranoia. I guess. Over-analysis requires a lot of thinking. It needs a person capable of looking at different scenarios, especially those that normal people don’t see. She sees the different conditions of which the solution set should belong to in order to attain a certain equality. Ok, well, I am an over-analyst. And no matter how I make it sound beautiful, I know it’s not. (Hehe. I was just trying to mess your mind up. You see, my reader, I was just thinking of what you could be thinking. My over-analyzing sickness jumps out of nowhere most of the time.) So where was i? hehe.. ah ok, as I was telling, I’m an over-analyst and I honestly don’t know if it’s something to be proud of or not. If you look at it on one side, you’ll think that an over-analyst exaggerates things that need not be exaggerated, you’ll think that she is a pessimist. Not exactly so. But yes – most of the time, as an over-analyst, my worries get the better of me.

But you know what? There’s also a lighter side to being one. My ability of over analyzing situations has gotten me out of trouble for the longest time. For one, I never grew up as a problem child because as far as I can remember, I have been thinking of consequences I would have to face if I failed a subject in school, or if I got into a fight, or if I cheated. (I mean, if I was caught cheating. Hehe!) It has also prevented me from making mistakes that left permanent damages in my life. Or mistakes that were life-changing. Like I was never a troubled teen who was drowning in drugs or I didn’t become a teenage mom. (hey, I don’t have anything against teenage mums here, ok?)I also have the tendency to over-analyze new people who come into my life, especially guys who show deeper intentions for me. And believe me -- it has worked for my own good a hundred times. Although i could not disregard the fact that it has also cost me some potential relationships. I guess that's the only not-so-bright side of it.

Nevertheless, i am still an over-analyst.

Basically what I am trying to say here is that in our day to day living, thinking is important. Over-analyzing? A necessity. Especially nowadays when everything is a sensitive issue --- individuality, lifestyle, money, career, politics, even safety and security. You’ll never know when people are just getting the best of you for their own interest. But at the same time, when it comes to love, most of the time it’s better not to think anymore. Let loose. Grab every opportunity that may come your way. Rather than analyzing situations, BE in the situations that might happen. Don’t think of the risks. Think of the fun you’ll get out of it while taking those risks. Set aside analysis. Go foolish for love. After all, love is something that could not be captured by reasoning.

Live and (over) analyze. Love and go crazy.